Need Some Help

[LCHIEN]

woodworking and carpentry are serious, and dangerous, but managably dangerous tasks.
However, you cannot carry on a conversation and supervise children while doing it, that would negate the management of danger. Full attention to the job could lead to danger for the children. Attention for the children's safety at all times would lead to inattention to the job at hand and personal danger for you. Not to mention costly errors and mistakes that other wise might not be dangerous. They cannot be mixed. Please tell your wife this.

[Pappy]

Agreed, safety is the issue here. Ever seen a cut from a hand saw? A second's distraction and you have a wide, jagged tear to your skin.

I work outside on a deck in front of the shop. Standard rule, understood by everyone from the wife to the grandkids, is that if I have a tool in my hand you stop back from the shop and wait until I look up before coming up. The type of tool or age of the visitor isn't a factor in this rule. The neighbors all know this rule, too.

Kids, especially a 3 yr old, don't belong around an active construction/shop area!

[dbhost]

I certainly understand the point of view both you AND your wife hold. There needs to be a compromise, for your safety, as well as the kids. I do think that your kids should be involved in fix it type projects from time to time, but only those that are appropriate for their age, and skill levels... For your safety, the kids, your wifes etc... You do NOT need distractions when using power tools, lifting etc.. Bad things that can be life changing can happen in an instant.

Now having said all that, once those floors are in, or when you are a a point where you can slow down, and take some time, where you are teaching your kids something, it might be a good thing to have mom insure that the kids are watching, slap some safety glasses on everyone, and show them things like measuring and marking, how to make sure your kerf is on the correct side of the stock etc... Explain to them what you are doing and why... Your kids will cherish the memories for the rest of their lives. Maybe even help the older one use say a power drill and template to drill a hole or two under your careful guidance, to mount knobs and door pulls, let the younger one screw the knobs in place sort of thing...

With some careful planning, you can not only get a great project done, but you can get some priceless family time in, and who knows, you might just inspire your kids to follow in your footsteps... At the very least, you bought some good will from your wife, and like most married men know, if momma ain't happy... Ain't nobody happy....

[crokett]

It occurs to me that you mentioned your wife enjoys helping you with projects. Maybe she still wants to help, or feels she has to but can't because of the kids, so her solution is to be there watching and keep the kids there. Ask her. Maybe you can find a way to keep the kids safe and she can still help.

[natausch]

I practically grew up on demolition sites. My father would hire out his crew to clean up a building before rehab or demolition, while my mom worked we would hang around the site. The first incident I remember was when I was five I had to be rushed to the emergency room after being hit by a tire that fell off a truck while I stopped to scrape mud off my shoe.

Worksites can be extraordinarily dangerous, whether or not they involve power or just hand. Our garage is locked up and all safety keys are removed from power tools whenever our nephews and nieces are over. The deadbolt key is in one of our pockets and even still we worry.

The only time they're allowed to enter if they are being constantly supervised, and at least one person is paying full attention to them. I can't imagine what we'll do when we have kids of our own.

Even still, the best solution is to develop a schedule with your wife. During demolition, lifting and cutting phases either the children are watching a movie on the other side of the house or out of the house compleatly. During other phases, properly supervised they're allowed to help. During the discussion with her stay firm, don't accept excuses and frame it all as a compromise.

[Shep]

I understand where you're coming from. My wife likes the projects I do but dreads when I have to work on them. Our two year old want's to play with daddy and making time for both is challenging.

I agree with what's been said already, but I do have some advice. I would recommend taking some time to play with them or have them "help" like dbhost has stated. My two year old is getting to the stage where she likes to help with simple tasks. Like "helping" to fold laundry. Sure the laundry doesn't really get folded, but she feels like she's helping. Taking some time to show them simple steps in the process should be fine. I would give them simple tasks, like picking up scrap wood, sweeping etc. A few simple tasks will keep them busy and they will get the bored quickly. I wouldn't do anything other than watching them when their around. Also, I would keep all the tools out of their hands. Make sure you are keeping an eye on them at all times. This play time should help with your wife as well. I would also make it known how long the play time will be. Hopefully, if your wife sees that you're not working and superivising them, she will agree to watch them more, and let you work.

Hope this helps.

[radhak]

I'm close to your situation (two kids similarly aged).

First - it's not just your wife's responsibility to keep the kids away. It's your imperative too. You need to lay it down to the kids - on your own - that they need to keep away. How they do it, is up to all of you as a family. TV / homework / board games / arts and crafts / books / play dates/ are all options you could use variably. But it should not be negotiable; inevitably you'll run into the "can't do any of that", "boooring", etc; at that point you throw open the options to them, with the bottom-line being they just cannot be around you when you running something dangerous. Tell them (in you most serious, DAD manner) you are okay with their being bored elsewhere, than entertained by powertools!

In all this, your wife can only be an enabler, not an implementer. Obviously she likes to help you, and even enjoys the work itself. Asking her to go away is not fair on her. I'd find ways of divvying up the work such that she could do part of the work while you keep the kids engaged (say, priming, painting, nailing, measuring, and even more), and vice versa; and of course there should be times when the kids stay away without either parent hovering over them. (Yes, that might feel strange if you have not tried it, but it works in many ways; after all, they can always build blocks, watch TV or draw-and-color by themselves).

When I laid my wood floors, I made it a point to have the whole family in moving the furniture, ripping the carpet, vacuuming, picking up, clearing away, etc; so much so that very soon they were sick of 'helping dad' and I was left to cut and rip at peace! Similarly I asked them to lay the primer on the wall (lowest levels) but was at hand to supervise (don't miss that spot; don't drip too much), and by the time of the important top coat, I had the room to myself .

[Woodwerker]

Thank You!

Thanks Everyone for the advice!
I did speak to her about the dangers of construction and how quikcly the kids can get hurt. To that point she will move the tools to an area that is out of reach. She will try ot keep them out of close range but they are still within the "unsafe" zone. My plan is to have her read this thread. She does not know my screen name here so I will say "wow this guy has the same issues I do" after I edit this post
Anyhow if she does not pull them away I will not start the project.
We do allow the kids to help with paint and small things, but when I am demoing walls or hanging cabinet I need peace and space LOL..
Thanks again everyone.
Joe

[Ed62]

Not only does he have the same issues, but his kids are the same ages. I'll edit this one too, after you do.

Ed

[RAFlorida]

Joe, here's some pics from one of

our members about what can happen with power tools.
BigguyZ misfortune could be the advantage to convence your wife about distractions!
http://www.bt3central.com/showthread.php?t=49860