Need Some Help

[Woodwerker]

Hey Guys and Gals need a little advice.
My wife and I take on several home improvement projects every year. We have been doing this for years and work well together. In the past few years her involvement has been a little limited due to our two kids (6 y/o daughter, 3 y/o son). The kids are GREAT and we are blessed to have them. Here is the issue. My wife will ask me take on a project then do nothing to remove the kids from the work area. For example I remodeled our kitchen which included demoing walls laying new floors in the entire first floor. All the while the kids are touching tools, running around etc. It's not a safety issue per say as she is watching them, but it is hard enough to do quality work alone, not to mention how hard it is when kids are running around in the work area.
I brought this up a few times and she gets pissed at me for not wanting the kids around. I tell her that the issue is not that I don't want them around it's that I need peace and quite to get the work done.
Has anyone else every had to deal with this issue?
I am at the point where I do not want to touch another room/project as I am tired of the trouble.

Joe

[steve-norrell]

A couple of points . . . . .

The safety of the kids is an issue. It doesn't take more than a second or two for a power tool to do serious damage -- certainly a lot less time than it would take the person watching them to get there. Also, your spouse will almost certainly be distracted from time to time with what is going on around her or with what the other kid is doing - - that's when serious accidents could happen.

To make the other point: I know at least two craftsmen, very good craftsmen, that do not allow anyone in the shop while they are working on a project. One is a gunsmith, the other is a woodworker, and who, by the way, do not know each other. Their reasoning, however, is the same. The distraction by the visitor can lead to very costly mistakes and is just not worth the risk.

Hope this helps. Regards, Steve

[Ed62]

I agree with Steve. Safety is an issue, especially with a 3 year old. You might think he's old enough to know better than to do certain things, but you might be surprised. And power tools are not the only things that can cause harm. Have another talk with her. If it doesn't work, neither should you.

Ed

[Uncle Cracker]

Safety first... And let's not forget that includes your safety. A misstep because you are distracted could cost you a finger, or worse. BTW, that would SUCK, so I'm furiously knocking on wood for you at the moment...

[crokett]

Talk to her again and explain why you don't want the kids around. Offer a compromise - tell her you will set up things at the beginning/end of a job so the kids can 'help', but other than those times you don't want them in the work area. If they come into the job site, then stop working until they are gone. You don't need the distration, and they don't need to be there.

[RAFlorida]

Joe, have her read this thread.

She may get p!ss, but at least she should see the seriousness of the situation. A chisel in and of itself is not dangerous; untill one picks it up and slices a finger, hand or an eye. Kids SHOULD NOT BE IN THE AREA WHERE SOME BODY IS WORKING WITH TOOLS. It's just dangerous all the way around for everybody. We all hope she understands and will keep the kids out of harms' way.

[herb fellows]

Not to put a guilt trip on her, but it is most definitely a safety issue. You've been around long enough to know that it only takes a second of being in the wrong place at the wrong time to create a mishap, and that mishap can be reallly bad when it involves tools.
Just pose the question of how she would feel if one of the kids, or you, got injured because they were there when you were trying to concentrate on the project. I think she's having a gut reaction, rather than thinking ahead to the possibilities. She probably feels that she has to 'put up with' the kids every day, why shouldn't you share in the fun?
You just have to make it clear to her that there is a time and a place, and while you are working with tools doesn't fit either criteria.
In addition to this, there are lung issues with dust, fumes etc. Bad enough you have to be exposed to them to some degree, subjecting the kids to it is unnecessary.
If it's a matter of the kids being curious as to what daddy is doing, set aside a few minutes before/ after, or even on another day to explain to them exactly what you are trying to accomplish.

[cabinetman]

The obvious answer is that somebody has to set down the rules, like the captain of a ship.
.

[Ed62]

Joe, have her read this thread.

Excellent advice. If she sees that we all agree, it might cause her to reconsider.

Ed

[smorris]

When the boys were much younger, about the age of yours, one of them got hurt when they came into a remodel work zone. He picked up a razor knife while I was looking at what I was working on and gave his hand a nasty cut. Blood, a screaming kid and the wife was not pleased to say the least and a hasty trip to the ER for some stitches. They stayed away after that but it wasn't the preferred method of accomplishing that.

[phi1l]

Agree with all the safety & responsibility issues expressed. But that doesn't solve the basic problem of 2 intelligent & inquisitive kids that want to be involved with their dad. You & your wife need to find something for them to do. Give them their own little roject?? Maybe give them their own little safe tools? By the time you are grand parents, these things will become second nature.

[toolguy1000]

i have two sons who are now in their 20s. their mother was, fortunately, the ultimate team player....she would always do whatever i asked her to do in exactly the way i asked her to do it. if that meant keeping the young boys away, that's what she did. when possible, i gave the boys something simple, safe and extremely boring to do. they soon lost interest and went to play, leaving me in peace to do what i had to do. sounds like your wife needs to realize there are times that youngsters should be restricted for their safety, your safety and the final outcome of the project. good luck.

[crybdr]

Kids and Grown Up Situations

I don't have children yet. But.... I also would like to see your little ones out of the immediate work zone while you are working.

I keep my dog out of my work zones for her safety. There are too many things for her to get into - thank god she doesn't have thumbs!

Power tools are very attractive to pick up and mimic what 'daddy' is doing. Unfortunately, modern tool designs feature bright and exciting colors- which can look like toys to children. It only takes a simple pull of the trigger to engage ALOT of dangerous cutting power very quickly.

There's also the dust, debris, lost fasteners, and miscellaneous sharps that are generated from a project. Probably better to work in a focused-mindset with no distractions, finish early, clean-up thoroughly, and relax with your family until the next day.

[LinuxRandal]

I am thinking video's of kickbacks, maiming, etc. from distractions, might bring awareness.

Or you could ask her why she doesn't play with the kids when she is driving the car with them in it.

[leehljp]

I see three issues:

1. The need for safety is imperative! And that has been addressed and needs to be primary.

2. I understand your need to focus on the work. There are times, that I don't want ANYONE around, and it is not a safety issue, but a concentration issue. I know that I can do quite a few things, but I also know that I don't have the full experience, so concentration and focus is paramount.

I have done enough projects that I knew all of the steps necessary to get it done. BUT, But, I have learned from experience that in many cases, if I get one step out of order, I have to backup, tear out, and re-do a couple of steps over, wasting time. I inevitably make these kinds of mistakes when people are in and out, watching and talking. I cannot concentrate or focus when this is happening. Most people can't concentrate or focus when being watched or talked to.

3. LOML is one that likes to be involved "emotionally?" and be a part of a construction project of "her" home. (Our kids are grown, so it is not a "kids" thing with us). "Inside the house projects" are always - "we did it," when all she does is watch . This has caused numerous "discussions" among us. Bottom line is - Some people have a "need" to be involved as part of the family. Logic doesn't make sense to those types . . . until someone gets hurt. Getting people out of the way is sometimes seen by them that you don't like them at the moment, or is taken as rejection of them.

I know this is not a "men's" topic, but it is the way some people are wired! Doesn't make it right, just that it is the way some people 'see it'.