Tell Your Cornball Joke (Your Worst)

[Mrs. Wallnut]

Okay You asked for It

Okay this is a blonde joke that I heard back in high school:

HOW DOES A BLONDE TURN ON THE LIGHT AFTER HAVING SEX??????
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>SHE OPENS THE CAR DOOR.

[bmyers]

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter, and you didn't even pay for your sandwich!""Hey, man, I'm a PANDA!" the panda shouts back. "Look it up!"The manager opens his dictionary and reads: "Panda: a tree-dwellingmammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and whitecoloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

[kwgeorge]

How do you introduce a hamburger?





Meat Patty…






Why did they bury the Indian on the hill?






Cuz he was dead..

[Mrk67mark]

A piece of rope walks into a bar and the bartender says, "we don't serve your kind." The rope goes outside, ties himself up and unravels his ends. He walks back into the bar and the bartender says, "Weren't you just in here?" The rope replies, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

Mark

[cabinetman]

What do you call a guy hanging on a wall?
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> Art
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[Richard in Smithville]

What do you call a woodworker sitting in a hole?
Phil.
What do you call a woodworker on the beach?
Sandy.
What do you call a woodworker at your front door?
Matt.
What do you call a woodworker floating in the lake?
Bob.
What do you call an Irish woodworker in your backyard?
Paddy O'Lantern.

[cabinetman]

Why do birds fly South for the winter?
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> because it's too far to walk.

[Mrk67mark]

A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."
Mark

[Richard in Smithville]

Here's one that will really get you groaning......

What time do you go to the dentist?

At tooth hurty( say it out loud)

[billwmeyer]

How does a turtle with no legs cross the freeway?

Take the f out of free and out of way











(There ain't no f in way!)

Bill

[cabinetman]

Heard this one today.


A pit bull bit off a cat's tail. Its owner took the cat to Wal Mart.
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>They heard that Wal Mart was the largest retailer in the world.
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[crokett]

Farmer Joe goes out to the barn one morning and discovers a bird's nest in his horse's mane. So he gets rid of the nest and shoos the bird away. Next day, same thing. He shoos the bird away again and puts some black pepper in the mane, but next day, same thing again. This goes on for a few more days until finally he calls the vet. Vet says 'Hiya Joe, what's the trouble?'. Joe tells him and says 'I dunno what else to do Doc, can you help?' Doc says 'Tell ya what, your wife have any yeast?' Joe says 'Yeast? I think so'. Doc says 'well this will sound strange but go ask Ellie Mae for some of her yeast and sprinkle it on the horse's mane.' Joe thinks it sounds strange indeed, but he does it. Next morning, no bird's nest. A few days later he calls the vet and says, 'Doc, that sure sounded strange but by gosh it worked. How'd you know it would?' Doc says.......






Are you ready?







This is a good 'un.







'It's real simple Joe. Yeast is yeast and nest is nest and never the mane shall tweet'.

[cobob]

What's another name for an intelligent blonde?
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gee this is harder than it looks
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A Golden Retriever

[Anna]

When I was a kid, my dad was always saying, "Listen, stupid."

He loved to call me Listen.

[jonmulzer]

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The barkeep looks at him and says, "I have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies back, "You have a drink named Steve?"