You may have too many router bits when...

[gwyneth]

Loring injected some brilliant humor into the plywood bit thread, which I think deserves its own thread.

To quote Loring:

You may have too many router bits if:

A. MLCS call you to fill their backorders
B. You keep your router bits each in their own router because you are too lazy to change them.
C. There's a carbide shortage and the Strategic Materials Command center calls and asks you to recycle your carbide stocks.

[ragswl4]

Loren injected some brilliant humor into the plywood bit thread, which I think deserves its own thread.

To quote Loren:

You may have too many router bits if:

A. MLCS call you to fill their backorders
B. You keep your router bits each in their own router because you are too lazy to change them.
C. There's a carbide shortage and the Strategic Materials Command center calls and asks you to recycle your carbide stocks.

Guilty as charged under indictment A and B with A amended to read "Whiteside". I have 40 bits and I am running out of money buying a router for each of them. The backlog on building router tables has become overwhelming. New 200ft x 200ft shop building is at the architect for final revision.

[gwyneth]

...your name is on the "Do Not Sell To" list Rockler circulates to franchisees.

[LCHIEN]

D. You have a 25MB Excel Spreadsheet listing all your profiles. And the file is growing.
E. You have nicknamed all your bits: Joey, Winkie, Ralph, Kubla-Khan, etc.
F. The UPS guy has a key to your shop and just puts them in the Router bit Cabinet(s) when he comes.
G. Norm tells Bob & Rick Rosendahl to call you for advice on router bit selection



Now, if I could just get Gwendolen to call me Loring.

[gwyneth]

Now, if I could just get Gwendolen to call me Loring.

That is so embarassing, Loring...with my strange first name I should be better than others about names (would be rich if I had a dollar for every mis-directed Gwendolen!) I am sorry and will be better.

But back to router bits.

...when Fine Woodworking asks to borrow some stuff for a photo shoot because they can't find anybody else who has 35 dovetail bits.

...when you've asked a couple of mail-order places to list your purchases as 'massages' on the credit card statements so your spouse doesn't get upset you're buying more bits.

...when you can do spectrum-like arrangements based on coating colors...for each of a dozen or so type bits.

[phrog]

D. You have a 25MB Excel Spreadsheet listing all your profiles. And the file is growing.
E. You have nicknamed all your bits: Joey, Winkie, Ralph, Kubla-Khan, etc.
F. The UPS guy has a key to your shop and just puts them in the Router bit Cabinet(s) when he comes.
G. Norm tells Bob & Rick Rosendahl to call you for advice on router bit selection



Now, if I could just get Gwendolen to call me Loring.

Or, conversely to E., you have nicknamed your children: Ogee, Cove, Roundover, etc.

[LCHIEN]

...when you've asked a couple of mail-order places to list your purchases as 'massages' on the credit card statements so your spouse doesn't get upset you're buying more bits.
....

Good one!

[radhak]

You have no space left and your bits are strewn all over the floor, and when your spouse tries to gingerly navigate them you get nervous - "careful, you might damage a bit or two"...

[LCHIEN]

Or, conversely to E., you have nicknamed your children: Ogee, Cove, Roundover, etc.

That's a good one, too!
The kid named Straight will come out OK, BullNose will survive ,
but the one named Tongue and Groove will probably need therapy .

[gwyneth]

...you've talked to your insurance agent about a special rider to cover just the bits.

...one of your pet peeves is that no commercial bit storage system is based on modules of 100.

...another is that Rockler execs told you that your idea for a "Buy A Bit A Day" club was impractical.

...and another is that the birthday cards you get from the presidents of Freud, Whiteside, and CMT come with smaller gift certificates than their Christmas cards.

[TheRic]

That's a good one, too!
The kid named Straight will come out OK, BullNose will survive ,
but the one named Tongue and Groove will probably need therapy .

You mean the twins Tongue and Groove?!

Not to be confused with the other twins: Rail and Stile.

[gwyneth]

But their siblings Glue and Joint may have the most problems.

[cabinetman]

A plunge bit was out tooling around in his new Italian inspired convertible, a Roman Ogee, the one with the roundover front, classical interior, beading along the sides, and upspiral rear and noticed a very sharp dovetail coming out of a pet store holding a rabbet, and asked "Wanna go for a spin?"

[Uncle Cracker]

...when you have to hire a full-time router wrangler.

...when you leave your trophy wife and marry an ugly girl whose father owns a Woodcraft store.

...when you're hired to redecorate some historic landmark, and you already have every bit you're gonna need.

[phrog]

But their siblings Glue and Joint may have the most problems.

Glue will probably marry a nice guy and "stick" with him through thick and thin but Joint will probably end up in rehab.