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I made a stop at HD to pick up some AC filters. Grabbed a cart and started to meander towards the rear of the store. I got about halfway down an isle when all of a sudden I got an urge to go to the bathroom.
Actually it was more than an urge. It was one of those poop warnings that you only get about 3 times a year. I thought it might be just a false alarm, but decided not to try a test blast just in case it was for real.
It was so bad I didn't even want to take another step. I just had to stand perfectly still and grip the cart handle. I just happen to be in the wallpaper isle, and I just stood where I was and pretended to be looking at patterns. I was motionless, legs quivering, sweating slightly, and leaving my finger impressions in the plastic handle while staring at pink and blue flower patterns.
I was concerned about how I appeared. I must have looked like I was bracing for an earthquake. Now, it's times like this that the bathroom is at the far end of the store. I'm not crazy in favor of public bathrooms in the first place. It seems that the people that maintain them are deaf, dumb, and blind. They never heard of soap. I've used holes in the ground that are cleaner than some public bathrooms I've been in.
Besides, public bathrooms usually have a two foot roll of toilet paper housed in a highly engineered stainless steel dispenser that gives you one 4" x 4" square of single layer paper at a time. What the heck good is that?
Anyway, for as fast as the urge came on, it went away. I was thinking...where does it go? After I regained some senses, and color came back to my face, I made it to the filters, and rolled on to the checkout. As I drove away, my only thoughts were to get home as soon as possible. There's no place like home.
.
Actually it was more than an urge. It was one of those poop warnings that you only get about 3 times a year. I thought it might be just a false alarm, but decided not to try a test blast just in case it was for real.
It was so bad I didn't even want to take another step. I just had to stand perfectly still and grip the cart handle. I just happen to be in the wallpaper isle, and I just stood where I was and pretended to be looking at patterns. I was motionless, legs quivering, sweating slightly, and leaving my finger impressions in the plastic handle while staring at pink and blue flower patterns.
I was concerned about how I appeared. I must have looked like I was bracing for an earthquake. Now, it's times like this that the bathroom is at the far end of the store. I'm not crazy in favor of public bathrooms in the first place. It seems that the people that maintain them are deaf, dumb, and blind. They never heard of soap. I've used holes in the ground that are cleaner than some public bathrooms I've been in.
Besides, public bathrooms usually have a two foot roll of toilet paper housed in a highly engineered stainless steel dispenser that gives you one 4" x 4" square of single layer paper at a time. What the heck good is that?
Anyway, for as fast as the urge came on, it went away. I was thinking...where does it go? After I regained some senses, and color came back to my face, I made it to the filters, and rolled on to the checkout. As I drove away, my only thoughts were to get home as soon as possible. There's no place like home.
.
LCHIEN
Loring in Katy, TX USA
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