I tried my best! Still no Wall

[Bruce Cohen]

Well, I wimped out, couldn't get myself to go. Started to, but got hit with a major flashback and one huge anxiety attack, so I only got to mid NJ and had to turn back after a few hours to compose myself.

You would think that after all these years and therapy and meds, I could have beaten off the ghosts, guess none of that stuff worked, or I'm still not "cured".

But at least I tried, maybe next year??


A very bummed out Bruce

[TB Roye]

Bruce

Maybe you need some other Vets to make the trip with you. Sounds like you need some support along the way. I have friends that are like you and find it difficult to talk about their experience. My dad and my older relatives never talked about WWII either they were treated better whent the came than you guys and were able to continue their lives, how they did I will never know.

Thanks for you service.

Tom

[herb fellows]

Don't beat yourself up, Bruce. I'm sure that's gotta be tough and you're not the only one who reacts that way. I'm sure you'll do it in your own good time, when it feels right.

Yeah, going as a group would probably make it more tolerable, maybe that's a good idea.

[cabinetman]

I made a suggestion in another post that you probably missed. We should meet up and have lunch in Georgetown. Then I'll take ya to ANC, and then we'll go see the wall. After that we'll go to Langley and see if there are any "stars" we both knew.
.

[Pappy]

All of us that served during that time have the names of friends on that wall. I have never seen it, other than in pictures, and have no desire to. And I was one of the lucky ones that didn't live in that ****. For many that did, the memories will haunt them the rest of their lives.

[Uncle Cracker]

Bruce, when and if you are ready, you will go. If you don't go, it won't be a bad reflection on you. To not want to remember that horrible time is not a bad thing, and does not mean you don't care. Many of your buddies are in the same quandary, I think. That you did your duty then, when the world was on the line, is what defines you.

[LinuxRandal]

You would think that after all these years and therapy and meds, I could have beaten off the ghosts, guess none of that stuff worked, or I'm still not "cured".

But at least I tried, maybe next year??


A very bummed out Bruce

If you can ever figure out how to cure oneself of the past, let me know!

Bruce

Maybe you need some other Vets to make the trip with you. Sounds like you need some support along the way. I have friends that are like you and find it difficult to talk about their experience. My dad and my older relatives never talked about WWII either they were treated better whent the came than you guys and were able to continue their lives, how they did I will never know.

Thanks for you service.

Tom

When I was a kid, generally, the WWII vets (grandparents, etc), didn't talk about it, except maybe on Memorial day, when we decorated the graves. EVERYBODY went through it with that generation. You had the ones who actually fought, and their wives, friends, and families, who were back here, helping get stuff together for them. When they needed to, they talked amongst themselves.

Vietnam (please read before getting steamed), was a war, if you fought. If you didn't go, it was either a "conflict" (insert other term), an illegal government action, etc. if you were back here protesting. It divided the country so bad, that a lot of people didn't talk about it (thinking of a relative), as you weren't sure at first who you were talking to. Then the whole VFW/Vietnam vet issue (not a foreign war, not allowed to join, etc). The support wasn't there.

Thankfully, the vets who fought in it and their families (IMHO) are a big reason that our support for current troops has improved (it always can do better).

I only heard a couple of friends, talk about their WWII experiences, REAL late in life (80's and 90's). I don't know specifics of what most of my family went through, due to how young I was when they died. I did ask my uncle when I was trying to join the military, and I did hear how bad the memories affected him, AFTER we had a long talk. (then I was medically disqualified)

Follow Tom's advice, go with those who also served, they have walked the walk. Otherwise, I learned a long time ago, we can cause as much damage, asking about and trying to help, as if we didn't ask (and are thought, not to care). Or find someone who you can talk to (spouse, friend, etc), but again, Tom's advice is best.

Thanks for your service.

[Black wallnut]

Hey Bruce we still respect ya man! Keep your chin up and know that you've plenty of friends here. I think the wall is there so others will never forget what your generation went through and what some of you are still going through.

[chopnhack]

You paid your respects by trying and keeping them in your memory and obviously close to your heart. There will be a time, I am sure when you will want to see them immortalized in stone for their sacrifice, when that time comes you will go....

[Bill in Buena Park]

Bruce,
I had a brother that served - I wasn't quite old enough myself; he's never been to the Wall, but I went for him - with a group that was extremely supportive of those that struggled to make the trip. If you ride, you might find these folks the right mix of encouragement and kick in the @$$ to help you when you're ready.

They make the run from LA to DC, and finish by riding in the Rolling Thunder parade. You can arrange to hook up with them wherever you want to along their route(s).

[dbhost]

As the proud son of a Vietnam vet, I want to thank you for your service. I am deeply sorry for the soul deep damage that war does to the men and women caught up in it.

While I can never truly fathom what you guys have given for our nation, I can only be grateful that when the call came, you answered with honor, and dignity.

For what it's worth, I do pray for those that fought, and continue to fight for our nation across the globe, and for our nation itself, that we may be healed of the torments of war...

May you find the peace that escapes you...

[Bruce Cohen]

I made a suggestion in another post that you probably missed. We should meet up and have lunch in Georgetown. Then I'll take ya to ANC, and then we'll go see the wall. After that we'll go to Langley and see if there are any "stars" we both knew.
.

Hey Cab,

Sounds good, wait till I get my courage up, hopefully soon.

And remember, you must have your challenge coin and the correct "pay Grade" or you can't see the "stars".

Bruce

[DUD]

Bruce

I honestly believe I know what You are feeling. Bless You Man, Bill

[JSUPreston]

Bruce, I've dealt with PTSD from something else that I can't discuss here, but I can sympathize with you. To confront your past can paralyze you.

I wasn't allowed to serve given my eyesight, although I tried. Had I been allowed to sign up, I would probably be in Iraq of Afganistan. I have friends and my wife has family over there right now.

I have always held vets in the highest regard. I appreciate your sacrifice, and can only hope that one day the demons that haunt you will leave you alone. Just know that you're among friends here, and that even if you can't make the trip, we won't think any less of you. We understand.

Best thoughts and wishes, and thank you for your service.

[scmhogg]

Bruce,

I was lucky. I completed my active duty in June of 1964. However, I have some friends on the wall that weren't quite so lucky.

I went there to visit my platoon sergeant who didn't make it back. He had a huge influence on me, both while in service and ever since. When I saw his name, I couldn't stop crying. One of the volunteers, also from the 101st, came up and held me until I could compose myself. I suspect this wasn't the first time he had done this.

Stephen M. Hogg, RA19711780