Fortune Cookie

[twistsol]

I'm in Chicago this week and had a hankering for some strip mall cuisine. At the end of a mediocre meal, I received the following advice from my fortune cookie.

"You will do well to expend your business."

I'm not certain this is good advice, or if it is, even how to go about it. Maybe the lucky numbers will prove more fruitful.

[Uncle Cracker]

Why aren't fortune cookies more realistic? I've never gotten one that said "Why aren't you hiding under your bed?", when they surely should have said it...

[os1kne]

I always thought that fortune cookies should have a humorous or sarcastic message in them - something like "That wasn't chicken. Have a nice day."

[crokett]

You know.... some years back I went to lunch with a guy I hadn't seen in a while - he was in town for a few days. We went to a Chinese place. The fortune in my cookie said something about new romance. At the time, I was single and happy about being so. I laughed and threw it out. A month later I met my now wife.

[herb fellows]

I always liked 'help, I'm being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery!"

[LCHIEN]

one of the state lotteries a while back had a surprise. If you picked like 5 of 6 numbers on the lottery then the prize was $100,000. In this one drawing they had about twenty five winners whereas a typical drawing they had about 2, 3 or maybe four $100K 5 of 6 picks winners.

The lottery commission was really suspicious of foul play - the drawing rigged or something since probability said such a coincidence would be astronomically impossible.

Turned out upon investigation, that most all the winners had eaten at a chinese restaurant that week and had gotten a fortune cookie with the set of numbers printed on the back of the fortune and had gone out and bet those numbers... as you can guess, the fortune cookie makers were really lazy and pinted the same set of numbers (and probably the same fortune) over and over again.

[cabinetman]

I like fortune cookies, the message is usually optimistic. Besides, they taste pretty good.
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[L. D. Jeffries]

Can't remember when or where I was but there used to be fortune cookies that were all semi-risque; named "Far Fong's". Probably in Frisco, most anything could be found there! Anyone remember the "dirty" comic books that were for sale just about everywhere there?

[herb fellows]

I'm guessing you're talking about the works of R. Crumb and that lot. They were so outlandishly drawn that they were actually funny.

[LCHIEN]

Here's a trick you can do with fortune cookies:

I bet my kids I could read the fortune without opening the cellophane wrap that the cookie comes in. They didn't think so.

Take your fist and gently pound the cookie in the wrapper until the cookie crumbles in a million pieces or so. Not too hard or you'll burst the wrapper. Then you can manipulate the wrapper to read the fortune inside without opening the wrapper, as promised.

[germdoc]

Can't remember when or where I was but there used to be fortune cookies that were all semi-risque; named "Far Fong's". Probably in Frisco, most anything could be found there! Anyone remember the "dirty" comic books that were for sale just about everywhere there?

When I was a kid all the fun stuff was risque. Now it's "normal" and even 5 year old kids can find it on the internet. And it's not fun anymore...

As for "dirty comics", I love R Crumb and am fascinated by his personality, but I still find his stuff, well, for want of a better word, dirty. Every time I see one of his strips I feel like I should hide it under the bed and wash my hands.