What's your opinion?

[Ed62]

Do you think giving a kid a good slap on the bottom is sometimes warranted? I do. Obviously, it can be carried too far.

I have a grand daughter who will be 3 years old in May. Recently, she started biting people. I was playing with her the other day, when she decided to bite me. I heard she bit other people, but it's the first time she tried to bite me, since she was teething. I was able to stop her before she got the full force into the bite. I guess I was half ready for it. But it still hurt, and she knows better.

I grabber her by both arms, and I told her if she does that again, I'll spank her bottom. It must have made an impression because she started crying. But she hasn't tried to bite me since. And if she does, she's gonna get it. She won't be told again.

I think not spanking kids is one of the reasons a lot of them grow up like they do. They can do what they want, and the punishment they receive doesn't make an impression. OK, let me have it.

Ed

[frumper64]

Well, it may be politically incorrect, but yes, I believe there are times when a good swat on the butt is quite appropriate. It never killed me, and my son (now 37) seems to have survived a few good spankings with no long term damage.

[dbhost]

I think NOT disciplining a child is WAY more abusive than PROPER physical discipline. I don't mean spanking in anger. And while it is certainly true that child abuse certainly exists, and is a horrible thing, going too far the other way, and having no consequences is just as destructive to the child.

I do FIRMLY believe that the crime, and callous attitudes we see with this up and coming generation, and a good number of my generation unfortunately, is due to insanely poor parenting on the part of far too many in the last several generations. Mine included. I don't recall parents being anywhere NEAR this permissive when I was a young child, but by the time I got into Jr. High, things were changing, FAST...

[Alex Franke]

I'm not sure. One thing that I do know, though, is that spanking doesn't even have to cause pain to be effective.

[crokett]

I'm not sure. One thing that I do know, though, is that spanking doesn't even have to cause pain to be effective.

No it doesn't. My 4yr old is starting to hit people. Yesterday she was mad and kicked me, hard. I swatted her,bottm, not hard at all. She was very surprised by it and started to cry. I calmed her down and told her that hitting/kicking was unacceptable. We will see if she learned her lesson.

[TB Roye]

I don't think a open handed swat on the bottom is abuse. When used to make a point or get their attention it is warranted. Now use of a belt, switch or other tool is abuse. I used the swat on my kids but haven't used the swat on the Grandkids, although it has been warrated a few times. If I did one DIL would ban me for life, she would rather send them to the corner and yell at them for 10 minuets. I watched her one time yell and go on and on with my grandaughter and when she left the room the grandaughter stuck her tounge out. I was a littlle shocked but it told me bundles. This DIL is the one from **** and the only reason we put with her is because of the kids and being able to see them. The is more to it my won't go into it here. I think TV and the video games has more to do with kids bing violent that a swat on the rear.

Tom

[cabinetman]

My father was a college boxing champ and I got reminded when I didn't see the right cross to the chin. Fortunately he was a dentist, so he figured he could fix what he broke.

But, he also told me that by the time I was big enough to kick his a$$, I'd know better.
.

[germdoc]

I got a fair amount of spankings as a kid, most from parents, some from teachers--some rather brutal, some undeserved. I don't think undeserved or violent spanking is helpful at all, just the opposite. I remember a kid who was poor, abused at home and today would be diagnosed with a learning disability or ADHD. That kid got pounded about once a week for something or other. I remember to this day how he cried when he got spanked. I often wonder if he ended up in prison.

That said, I have swatted a couple of my kids a few times. When it was for biting or something similar, I didn't feel bad, but truth to tell about half the times I spanked them I felt very bad afterward and decided it was a failure on my part rather than theirs. I don't think it was terribly effective. They are all pretty good kids, so I guess whatever I did worked out, but really on reflection I regret most of the times I spanked them. I will encourage my kids to find ways that don't rely on physical means to discipline their kids.

[pacwind3]

My opinion is this: like everything, there are rules here.
A) Don't spank because of anger. Seriously, who spanks their kid when they are calm? My point is, don't spank them becuase you are angry. We spank after MANY repeated warnings.
B) Nothing but the hand. I NEVER use anything, wooden spoon, ruler, belt; all are not acceptable.
and C) if there is a C) one swat only. I don't repeatedly spank. A single swat seems to do the job.

[drillman88]

I think it is the last option and should be used only when neccessary.
There are other options that are just as effective maybe more depending on the child but I have no problem with its use when needed.
My son was hurt more by making him sit still and not being able to play than he was by spanking him.
Our friends have a son who only reacts to spanking nothing else works.

The lesson needs to be taught but the use the most effective method for the child.

[shoottx]

As my dad said "that is what God put butts on kids For"

I guess the six of us turned out OK!

[DaveS]

We are non-spankers.

However, I don't look down on those that do it.

If you are able to control your temper, and only spank when you are not angry - God bless you. I don't think I could do it, and I've seen many angry parents spank their kids.

I have a vivid memory of my father yelling at us "if you don't stop hitting your brother I am going to [spank] you". I remember at the time being very confused.

[herb fellows]

The problem with accepting it is that those who would go overboard then use this as a license to do so. Once you accept it, you open the floodgates for a lot of people who don't know the meaning of restraint.
As many here have said, it is something that needs to have rules applied to it, but those who would do the most damage will not adhere to the rules. For that reason, I don't think it's the way to go.

My wife tells me about how her father 'controlled' her. He would never raise a hand to her. He would simply look her right in the eye and say "I'm very dissapointed in you', then turn away. To her, this was the most effective punishment imaginable, because to be less than perfect in her father's eyes was devastating to her.

[crokett]

I have a vivid memory of my father yelling at us "if you don't stop hitting your brother I am going to [spank] you". I remember at the time being very confused.

When I was about my oldest's age (4ish) I hit my mother for something. My dad made it VERY clear with a spanking that hitting an adult was unnaceptable, especially hitting my mom. However, he took the time to explain to me why what he did was different. My daughter asked why I swatted her (as I expected her to - knowing why is extremely important to her) and I explained it to her. I expect a couple more questions after she has had a few days to think about it.

As for being angry, I never discipline my kids when I am angry, beyond sending them to timeout, as much to let me cool off as them.

For spanking in general, my youngest doesn't need it, at least so far. It is enough for me to raise my voice. For my oldest, only when necessary. She knows that the threat is there and that is usually enough.

[JSUPreston]

We've done the spankings, the time-outs, etc. at my house. We usually do not spank since it usually doesn't work. However, sometimes a quick, unexpected open handed swat to the bottom has the desired effect.

We believe that when the Bible says, "spare the rod, spoil the child," that it wasn't speaking literally. If spanking doesn't work, you find the "rod" that works for you and your family. With our 7 year old, that usually means a time out or taking away the current favorite toy or game. The soon to be 10 year old is a little harder, and there are other issues in play with him that we have to take into account. Most of the time, taking away his electronic devices seems to work. We have had him clean the bathrooms (no chemicals except the wipes in a plastic tube, just cleaning toilets and sinks with scrub brushes) or the living room. Something to make him think about what he did (or didn't) do.

Having come from a very bad childhood myself (foster care, abusive father and grandmother, children's home) through no cause of my own, I question my actions quite often. Having no father worth looking up to, I didn't learn how I should have been disciplined myself. I pretty much taught myself right and wrong and how I should be, with quite a bit of help from the children's home, church and Boy Scouts. Because of that, quite often SWMBO and I talk about what I could do better, what I'm doing good, and what I just suck at. I'm getting better...my parenting skills don't suck quite as much anymore.