When You've Been Married Too Long

[Richard in Smithville]

I got this in an email. I hope you get a chuckle.

When You've Been Married Too Long

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress,
are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze
their men. That night all three will wear black leather bras,
stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet up for lunch.
The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came
over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos
and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my
life. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.

The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his
office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over
my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't
say a word, but we had wild love all night.

The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother's
house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing
the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over
my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said,
'What's for dinner, Batman?'

[Mr__Bill]

I know just the person to pass that along to...... if I wanted to end my life early.

[TB Roye]

That one stay right here. I love my shop but really don't care to sleep there.

Tom

[bigstick509]

[crokett]

But no matter how long I'm married I'll still act like the fiancee did.

[Ed62]

Ooooh, that's so good!

Ed

[DUD]

I like it too. Bill

[gordons]

Guano??!!??

[pacwind3]

How appropriate, today is our 6 year anniversary.

Hmm, I wonder what IS for dinner.....

[Mrs. Wallnut]

But no matter how long I'm married I'll still act like the fiancee did.

Are you saying this just in case your wife reads this forum when your not around?

[Rand]

How appropriate, today is our 6 year anniversary.

Hmm, I wonder what IS for dinner.....

Something off the menu at a nice restaurant if you're smart.

[pacwind3]

Randy, unfortunately I am anything but smart.
What is it with women and flowers???? My God they always want flowers. Drives me nuts. Good food, fine with me at least I had the enjoyment of a good meal and something resembling nutritional input. But flower: they die. So it's money spent on something that's dead in a week. Might as well get a goldfish, it'll probably last longer.

[Pappy]

Randy, unfortunately I am anything but smart.
What is it with women and flowers???? My God they always want flowers. Drives me nuts. Good food, fine with me at least I had the enjoyment of a good meal and something resembling nutritional input. But flower: they die. So it's money spent on something that's dead in a week. Might as well get a goldfish, it'll probably last longer.

And you've been married six years? To the same woman?

[Uncle Cracker]

Wanna know when it first occurred to me I'd been married too long?? At the reception...

[Schleeper]

Randy, unfortunately I am anything but smart.
What is it with women and flowers???? My God they always want flowers. Drives me nuts. Good food, fine with me at least I had the enjoyment of a good meal and something resembling nutritional input. But flower: they die. So it's money spent on something that's dead in a week. Might as well get a goldfish, it'll probably last longer.

You have much to learn, grasshopper. If you truly aspire that your thinking and that of your spouse be as one, you must first rid your consciousness of all logical thoughts. (Words of wisdom from a man secure in the knowledge that his wife of 33+ years isn't likely to read them!)