Did I Use "Bad Form"?

[Uncle Cracker]

The only universal rule on CL is the first guy here with the money gets the goods. Just remind them of that. You cannot count on the lookers to keep their dates with destiny, while you turn away possible buyers. Unless you promised a caller that you would hold the vehicle for a certain length of time, then it's every man for himself.

[JeffG78]

You did nothing wrong. Here's a long winded story of mine...

Around 1990, I had a car that I was trying to sell. After listing it several times locally (this was before the internet), a friend suggested that I put it in his paper. I lived about 180 miles from him. The first day it was listed I got a call from a young man who was very interested in the car. The car was only three years old and had ~40,000 miles on it. I told him over the phone that it was like new and needed nothing. I told him about one scratch in the hood that was 1/2" long from a stone and that it had a very small chip in the passenger side of the windshield, but there was no crack. I explained that I lived three hours away and that if he was absolutely going to buy it, then I would drive it to my friend's house that Saturday where we could meet. We agreed on a price and I told him that I had no interest if he wasn't going to buy it and that I would not accept a lower amount than what we agreed upon. He said that there was no doubt as long as it was as good as I stated. I made the trip and he showed up as scheduled. He walked around the car and took it for a quick drive. At that point, he offered me around $500 less for the car than the agreed price. He didn't have a reason, but said he had another car of a different brand that he had to go look at and that he might call me back Needless to say, I was NOT happy. I told him that he wasted my time and money and told him never to call me again.

Luckily for me, the phone rang just a few minutes later. It was a car broker responding to my ad. He asked a few basic questions and said that he planned on buying 7-10 cars that day. He had me drive to his condo and when I arrived, he looked at the car for less than 30 seconds before handing me $7000 in cash. Normally cash is great, but I had to get back home via Greyhound . I sat in the Detroit Greyhound terminal for three hours with $7000 in my pocket surrounded by some of the worst looking characters I had ever seen. The other end wasn't much better as I had to sit in the Cleveland terminal late that night for another hour or so waiting for my ride to pick me up.

The moral of the story is that a deal is never a deal until you have money in hand. The original "buyer" told me over and over on the phone that he wouldn't waste my time and to consider my car sold. Not only did he not buy it, but he had already made plans to look at another car right after our appointment, so it was obvious that he wasn't serious and figured that I would take anything he offered once I was there. You were nice enough to call the first guy and save him the trip. That's more than most people would do.

[cabinetman]

Nothing wrong with what you did. Consider the opposite commitment. What if you held the vehicle on his word, turned down later lookers, and he finked out!
.

[LCHIEN]

CL is a cash and carry trade. First call does not get the item, first cash in hand does.
Since each trade is unique there's no loyalty/built-up respect. CL and want ads in general frequently result in missed appointments and broken promises. All people have to be taken with a low amount of trust from the beginning and therefore the most earnest sounding caller has no right to claim the transaction. It's unfortunate, the closer person or the person with the most free time gets the item... sometimes its just luck that his and the sellers schedule coincides.

Potential buyers should know these, its bad form for him to chew you out.
Don't let it get you down. You did the right thing.

[Knottscott]

CL is a cash and carry trade. First call does not get the item, first cash in hand does....snip...

Potential buyers should know these, its bad form for him to chew you out.
Don't let it get you down. You did the right thing.

Interesting that there's not a single defending statement for the potential buyer. Thanks again to all for the support, nothing a good meal and an ice cream cone couldn't fix!

[jackellis]

I'll says the same thing everyone else did. You have no reason to feel bad. The first caller needed to get over right away if he wanted the item that badly. Dawdle and you lose out. A lesson we learned when we bought this house and the other bidder wanted to rewrite the contract on his new PC. We were ready to deal so our offer was accepted.

[Ed62]

You did the right thing. Don't let it bother you.

Ed

[docrowan]

It sounds to me like he lied about the charity work and was just trying to use that to get your price down. I do understand your concern, nobody likes to get chewed out, especially regarding their honor or honesty. I'm glad you posted, too. I'll keep your story in mind for the next time I sell something - make sure to remind a caller before I hang up that it's first come, first served.

[ironhat]

The fact that you questioned your own actions is a statement of good character; self-examination to determine *if* you behaved accordingly. Unfortunately, many of us will linger on that point to excess after it is obvious that your motives were pure and your actions just. You did the right thing so let *yourself* know it! I hope that you had a whole bowl of ice cream as a reward*!!

(*toppings extra, not valid in two counties of Wisconsin, see your attorney for details)

[RAFlorida]

Dustmight, you didn't do anything incorrectly.

First come, first served. From your post I gather that you didn't outright say it's "yours, come and get it", so that guy should be thankful that you were thoughtful enough to call him and inform that the van's gone. Actually he sounds like a jerk who may have had intent to rip you off with a bad check. Just my speculation. Don't sweat it, you were in the right.

[Knottscott]

...Actually he sounds like a jerk who may have had intent to rip you off with a bad check. Just my speculation. Don't sweat it, you were in the right.

It sounds to me like he lied about the charity work and was just trying to use that to get your price down....

I actually checked on his organization's website and they appeared legit...that's why his outburst surprised me. My guess is that he really needed the van more than he indicated and is now in a bind. I still feel badly for him that the deal didn't work out in his favor, but after reading all the responses, I'm confident I didn't cross any lines I shouldn't have and have put it behind me (it's a new day and all! ). I was hoping he'd followup with an apology when he cooled down...not so much for the sake of smoothing my tail feathers, but just as confirmation that he's an upright guy as I had originally thought....no such luck as of yet.

...and Chiz...I always have a whole bowl of ice cream!

[ragswl4]

Thanks gang....feeling better about things after reading your posts...I just needed a reality check. He was ticked off enough to call me and chew me out, and I honestly felt badly....both parties were planning to use it for some charity work.

Feeling badly is OK, shows you are a stand up guy. That said, you did the right thing. No guarantee the person would have bought the van. Car dealers don't hold cars for "maybe I'll take it". Don't feel bad, you harmed no one.

[DaveS]

This happened to me one time - and rather than rant back, I apologized for the misunderstanding and basically e-begged for forgiveness... mostly because he had my address, and I was afraid he would do something irrational (not because I really thought I did something wrong).

So now, when someone gives me a wishy-washy answer like that I immediately write back and tell them "that's fine, but please note that if someone gets here before you with cash in hand, I will sell it to them".

[Gator95]

adding to chorus. No you didn't do anything wrong. It's CL for crying out loud, not e-bay.

[jonmulzer]

Sounds like he way a crybaby. I agree with everything said so far. Unfortunately, I have ran into people like this before also. A long time ago I was looking to rent a house so I called about several properties in the area I wanted to live in and set up several appointments on the same day. One fellow told me, "I will be around there all day getting it ready so just stop by any time." The appointment I set up before I had planned on going there, I fell in love with the house and agreed to rent it. After I leave I call the fellow and he says something to the effect of, "You wasted my ****ed time! I wouldn't want someone like you renting from me anyway! You told me you were really interested in the place so I turned away other people wanting to rent! Our relationship is over!" My response, "What are we? Effing dating? We have no relationship and I am so glad I am not going to have you for a landlord and feel truly sorry for whomever takes that place." Bottom line, most people suck. That is why I like this board. It is chocked full of reasonable, conscientious, courteous, well-mannered people. As for the majority of the rest of society........