Colonoscopies

[DUD]

TOO FUNNY - THE LAST ONE IS THE BEST



Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:


1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!


2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"


3. "Can you hear me NOW?"



4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"


5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."


6. "Any sign of the trapped! miners, Chief?"


7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."


8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"


9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!


10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."


11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"


12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."


And the best one of all..


13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"

[BobSch]

I wish I'd thought of one of those when I went through my first exam a couple of years ago. I will admit that I found the prep worse than the exam itself. Maybe it was the drugs they give you. Better living through chemistry!

[cabinetman]

I wish I'd thought of one of those when I went through my first exam a couple of years ago. I will admit that I found the prep worse than the exam itself. Maybe it was the drugs they give you. Better living through chemistry!

Oh yeah, I've had three, and the prep is definitely worse than the exam. I was out for each of them.
.

[mater]

I will have to remember #13 when I go back.

[DUD]

Ken

I agree on #13. Bill

[bert11]

Do It

Just a little on the serious side from an almost 5 year survivor.

More should have the above test along with prostrate and breast/cervical exams regularly.
I have lost TOO MANY friends because they were not diagnosed early enough.

HAVE YOUR EXAMS REGULARLY.

[KarlKulp]

Dave, a good friend of mine went in for his exam a few weeks ago. He was lying on the exam table when the doc came into the room. Dave said "Hi doc, just how do you recognize your patients"? The doc's reply was "We won't be getting into that"!

[leehljp]

FUNNY! A GREAT Laugh!

I just had my 3rd one 3 weeks ago and the outcome wasn't too great. 8 Polyps removed, 3 of them nearly an inch in size. I had 4 removed 2 years ago.

It is going to be at least a yearly trek for me and my doctors are in debates if I should wait a full year for another colonoscopy. The seriousness of it far outweighs the prep and scoping itself.

The solution that I had to drink here was about half the amount from what I had to drink in the States twice.

[germdoc]

I think having a smiley face right next to the topic heading "colonoscopy" is just plain wrong.

BTW, what do these things have in common?

Light bulb (40 watt)
Hotel mini shampoo bottle
Old-fashioned Coke bottle
Roadside luminescent warning stick

They are all things colleagues of mine have retrieved from the colons of unhappy patients. (True)

[RockyJohn]

I had this done a couple years ago and they put me completely out for it. Lucky me!

At the follow-up appointment, the Doctor ( Joe Kirkpatrick, or as he calls himself, "GI Joe") told me everything was OK - I have the colon of a 19 year old!

A couple weeks later I had an appointment with my regular doctor. I told him what the other doctor had told me, and he said "What - Did he find a Big Mac and Fries up there?"

[cabinetman]

Doctor: "I don't care what your boss said...there's no lead up there".
.

[jonmulzer]

I think having a smiley face right next to the topic heading "colonoscopy" is just plain wrong.

BTW, what do these things have in common?

Light bulb (40 watt)
Hotel mini shampoo bottle
Old-fashioned Coke bottle
Roadside luminescent warning stick

They are all things colleagues of mine have retrieved from the colons of unhappy patients. (True)

When I read that, I had a weird image of this happening on a dark, stormy night. About the time this person waddled into the Emergency Room and was standing at the desk the power goes out and there is a delay of a few moments before the backup lighting kicks on and everyone notices a strange glow coming from someplace it should not.

[Mrs. Wallnut]

I think having a smiley face right next to the topic heading "colonoscopy" is just plain wrong.

BTW, what do these things have in common?

Light bulb (40 watt)
Hotel mini shampoo bottle
Old-fashioned Coke bottle
Roadside luminescent warning stick

They are all things colleagues of mine have retrieved from the colons of unhappy patients. (True)

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! That just boggles the mind. Why would anyone.......Never mind I am not going there this is a family forum....

That is just mind blowing

[DUD]

I agree this procedure is definately a good idea, especially if You are over 50. I have 1 yearly sometimes 2. As for the smiley face, I thought these supposed remarks were funny. Bill

[Mrs. Wallnut]

Bill,
Those were funny and I had a great laugh. I am going to pass those along to my dad whom I believe is going to have to have this procedure done sometime this year. I am sure he will get a big kick out of them.

BTW, you owe me a keyboard, because I forgot to put down the coffee before I started reading this.