Bear Removers

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  • DUD
    Veteran Member
    • Dec 2002
    • 3309
    • Jonesboro, Arkansas, USA.
    • Ryobi BT3000

    #1

    Bear Removers

    A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof.
    So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for Bear Removers.
    He Calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
    The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.
    What are you going to do the homeowner asks? I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.
    When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go.
    The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van. He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
    What's the shotgun for asks the homeowner. "If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."
    5 OUT OF 4 PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND FRACTIONS.
  • jhart
    Veteran Member
    • Feb 2004
    • 1715
    • Minneapolis, MN, USA.
    • BT3100

    #2
    Just thinking about that hurts!!!
    Joe
    "All things are difficult before they are easy"

    Comment

    • Richard in Smithville
      Veteran Member
      • Oct 2006
      • 3014
      • On the TARDIS
      • BT 3100

      #3
      I guess he fell off once before.
      From the "deep south" part of Canada

      Richard in Smithville

      http://richardspensandthings.blogspot.com/

      Comment

      • mater
        Veteran Member
        • Jan 2004
        • 4197
        • SC, USA.

        #4
        Better to be prepared. That was a funny one Bill.
        Ken aka "mater"

        " People may doubt what you say but they will never doubt what you do "

        Ken's Den

        Comment

        • LCHIEN
          Super Moderator
          • Dec 2002
          • 21993
          • Katy, TX, USA.
          • BT3000 vintage 1999

          #5
          need to train that dog to recognize the diff between man and bear , or, wear cast iron underwear!
          Loring in Katy, TX USA
          If your only tool is a hammer, you tend to treat all problems as if they were nails.
          BT3 FAQ - https://www.sawdustzone.org/forum/di...sked-questions

          Comment

          • crokett
            The Full Monte
            • Jan 2003
            • 10627
            • Mebane, NC, USA.
            • Ryobi BT3000

            #6
            I heard that one but it was a gorilla instead of a bear.
            David

            The chief cause of failure in this life is giving up what you want most for what you want at the moment.

            Comment

            • chopnhack
              Veteran Member
              • Oct 2006
              • 3779
              • Florida
              • Ryobi BT3100

              #7
              b-e-l-l-y laugh lol
              I think in straight lines, but dream in curves

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