Another woodworker secums to divorce

[SARGE..g-47]

Sorry about your situation, Scotty. The 'kid's first' and the rest will take care of itself. Good to hear it's not a "shoot-out" as I have been there twice (fortunate that there were no children in either) and fortunately both were civil separations. That is best as far as the children's well being.

I have gotten a lot of experience as I'm building the 3rd set of furniture. Had to sell the tools both cases and start over... but that was minor as I built my first 3 projects in 1972 with a circular saw hung under-neath a 2' x 4' piece of ply and hand-tools. All you need is the desire. Any space can become suffieint if the desire exist.

The younger Dutch lady I met 19 years ago from Pa. encouraged me to replace and of course I did. The wives and tools seem to come and go as the world turns today.... but the love of wood can never be taken from the soul!

Best of luck...

[jwaterdawg]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. To echo what others have said, kids come first.

[SHADOWFOX]

Scott,

Sorry to hear about the bad news. I hope everything works out.

Kind regards,

[Pappy]

Bummer, Scotty. I asume you didn't want this to start with. Keeping it civil and the kid's best interest in the forefront is best if you can keep it going. Don't give everything up in the process.

[Richard in Smithville]

Sorry to hear of the bad news Scott but don't ditch the tools yet. I live in a townhouse with a garage and although things are tight, I still run the bigger tools. I just show a little respect for the neighbours by not working with power past nine pm. A little favour for the neighbours every now and then helps things along too. Now they play a game on saturday mornings. They "Name That Tool" by the sound.

[Brian in Dawson Creek]

Heart breaking! …. I feel for you and 2nd what Uncle Cracker said

All the best

Brian

[Hoover]

Best of luck to you Scotty. My son and his children went through this in Snohomish County court, same county you reside in. Stay positive, my son won custody, and was allowed to move to Idaho. No divorce is easy, so stay with it.

[goslin23]

Did I read that correctly? She is 46 and you have an 8 year old and a 16 month old? That is pretty late for a woman to have children, but I guess women are doing things later in life these days.

I feel for you though. It's sad for the kids as I've seen 1st hand what a divorce can do to them. I went through the big D once and waited 15 years to get married again. I had to make absolutely, positively sure it was the right woman (and she is in spades!).

Good luck with everything and hang in there. I hope you can find a place for those tools.

-=gos=-

[mater]

It sounds like you have your prioritys in order in taking care of your children. Divorce is never easy and I wish you all the best.

[pierhogunn]

scotty, that sux man, real bad

sorry to hear about it

[lrogers]

Wow Scotty, I hate to hear this. It's never easy (been-there-done-that), but at least you've got your head in the right spot thinking about the kids. All the best my friend.

[crokett]

Scotty,

I am really sorry to hear this news too. Not being angry is the best advice I think you can get.

[dkerfoot]

I really am sorry to hear that.

For what it is worth, my ex went insane at right around the 18 month mark of two of our children. Our marriage survived the first time, but not the 2nd. (Her kidnaping them made reconciliation rather more difficult) Do give strong consideration to it being hormonal/post-partum and as you mentioned mid-life crisis.

Consider delaying the formalities (divorce with children takes a long time anyway) and praying like mad that her heart will change. Divorce, even when done as well as it possibly can be, will affect your kids forever. It is worth swallowing the gaping wound to your heart and ego to fight to keep the marriage intact. She will probably need a disastrous relationship with some other guy before she starts to have a clearer head.

I agree about putting the children above everything else. The next, much lower priority is retirement income. In 5 years, you won't want that couch anyway (or whatever else you might fight over besides kids and retirement)

Also, keep in mind that you will be unable to think clearly for 2 full years. Seriously - The things that seem like they will bring comfort: booze, women, whatever you are bent towards, will all be disastrous. Get a good counselor, ideally spiritual but secular is better than nothing. You need someone who is not insane and who has no vested or outside interest in your affairs (lawyers, relatives, etc) to provide advise. Discuss everything you are feeling and/or thinking of doing with them.

Always default towards inaction - even when something seems really attractive. Especially when something seems really attractive.

[Imadunatic]

Man, I know exactly how you feel. My divorce will be final one week from tomorrow. Mine happened to be one of those deals where she just wanted out, and as such, I kept the house and all of my stuff, and she kept all of her stuff, and for the first time in a long time, her and I actually get along. I wish you best of luck, and I am still sorry to hear this.

[JeffW]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I have no advice to give as I have never been through this. Kids are the most important. They are both at an age where they are easily influenced. Having a positive male role model is important for both of the, I am sure that you will the dad that you need to be.

Tools can be replaced, but I like others, advocate putting them in storage till the future looks better.

Take care my friend.

Jeff