Another woodworker secums to divorce

[germdoc]

I feel for you Scotty--going through the same thing myself. That midlife crisis stuff must be catching...

I'm gonna leave the legal advice to the lawyers.

A few other things I've learned: Nothin' ain't over just because you want it to be over. All things take time.

Take care of your kids first, the rest will take care of itself.

Work out your frustrations at the gym instead of the bar or casino or icebox. (Good place to meet women, anyway.)

Think of it like a cancerous tumor that requires about 2 years of chemotherapy to cure. Most of your friends and acquaintances will regard you like you have cancer or a contagious disease, anyway.

Have a couple of confidants who will support you unconditionally. Ideally they're not good friends of your wife's. Just realize their advice is biased, so don't follow it 100%.

You will realize just how many people around you are or have been divorced. Seems like darn near 3/4 of everyone I know.

Take things one step at a time, don't do anything drastic. Especially when it comes to women.

Speaking of which, you will embarrass yourself with women just like a 15-y.o. Get used to it and don't take it too seriously.

After a short period--a week or 2--all women will suddenly be more attractive. Even the Starbucks girl. Especially the Starbucks girl. That doesn't mean they all view you the same way (DAMHIKT)...

All the single women you wanted to date but couldn't because you were married--they're not single anymore.

But--don't give up hope. When you least expect it something good will happen or someone will walk into your life unexpectedly. So I've heard!

[frogmorton]

Sorry to hear of your divorce, you will be in my prayers

[gettools]

Scotty, I am sorry to read of your divorce, it is never easy. I just want to offer a glimpse of hope if you are looking for some, my wife & I divorced after 5 years we had a daughter. It took a year & 1/2 but we worked it out (slowly) we remarried & now have been married 25 wonderful years. Good luck God bless. I am praying for you. Counseling & prayer is the best advice I can give.
Mark

[Black wallnut]

Scotty, Sorry to hear this news! Whenever you are in the neighborhood drop me an email or PM and I'll buy you a cup or mug, which ever. Hopefully she will come to her senses before everything is final.

For those of you that did not know Scotty's youngest IIRC is a child that they adopted.

[ragswl4]

Thanks for the support everyone, that means a lot. I forgot to mention that there we have no contempt for each other (I know that sounds strange) and we have talked at length about this. FYI she has been divorced before too. We manage to laugh about both of us having gone the angry route. I agree it benefits no one but the lawyers. I have no problem slicing the pie for the benefit of my kids but not for the lawyers! We have committed to being civil, outlining the terms ourselves and have them reviewed by the court. As much of a DIY divorce as we can handle. In Washington State, it is pretty easy to do as long as both parties are in agreement and the children are not at risk. As far as child custody she will be the primary guardian and I will have liberal visitation rights. I travel for my job and I don't want to make it a big custody battle. Washington is not friendly for fathers with stay at home moms and the husband has been a problem.

I think Uncle Cracker made a good suggestion of just putting the tools in storage until some time passes.

At any rate in sure as **** will be hard but it could be a lot worse.

I agree with Uncle Cracker about the tool storage idea. This is a very tough time for you and your family. Many decisions loom in the near and distant future, many of them unknown. This is not the time to make any decisions except the big ones about the children and your spouse. Take it slow and get advice before any big steps are taken.

I went through the same thing 13 years ago and thought my life was basically in ruins with not much of hope for the future. Thank God my children were nearly grown and were not an issue. Now 13 years later I am happily married (9 years), my ex, her husband and I are civil (even friendly) to one another.

While divorice is never good for either party it is survivable and life goes on. Stay strong for your children and hang in there. KEEP THE TOOLS!!!