If You have Boys or Grandsons

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  • DUD
    Veteran Member
    • Dec 2002
    • 3309
    • Jonesboro, Arkansas, USA.
    • Ryobi BT3000

    #1

    If You have Boys or Grandsons

    1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.


    2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.


    3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

    ! ;
    4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.


    5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.


    6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.


    7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

    8. Brake fluid mixe d with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.


    9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.


    10. Certain Lego's will pas s through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.


    11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.


    12. Super glue is forever.


    13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.


    ! 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.


    15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.


    16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.


    17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.


    18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.


    19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.


    20. The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute resp! onse time.


    21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.


    22. It will, however , make cats dizzy.


    23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.


    24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.


    25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
    5 OUT OF 4 PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND FRACTIONS.
  • Ed62
    The Full Monte
    • Oct 2006
    • 6021
    • NW Indiana
    • BT3K

    #2
    26. Chanel #5 perfume is for cleaning toilets. Yep, one of our kids poured LOML's down the drain. It sure smelled good for a while.

    Ed
    Do you know about kickback? Ray has a good writeup here... https://www.sawdustzone.org/articles...mare-explained

    For a kickback demonstration video http://www.metacafe.com/watch/910584...demonstration/

    Comment

    • mater
      Veteran Member
      • Jan 2004
      • 4197
      • SC, USA.

      #3
      A lot of truth in those Bill.
      Ken aka "mater"

      " People may doubt what you say but they will never doubt what you do "

      Ken's Den

      Comment

      • Daryl
        Senior Member
        • May 2004
        • 831
        • .

        #4
        I mixed Chlorox and brake fluid and nothing happened.
        Sometimes the old man passed out and left the am radio on so I got to hear the oldie songs and current event kind of things

        Comment

        • TheRic
          Veteran Member
          • Jun 2004
          • 1912
          • West Central Ohio
          • bt3100

          #5
          Originally posted by Daryl
          I mixed Chlorox and brake fluid and nothing happened.

          My brother and I were cleaning out an old garage, we tried several different brand of brake fluids, none of them worked!! Count me (us) in that 80%.
          Ric

          Plan for the worst, hope for the best!

          Comment

          • gerti
            Veteran Member
            • Dec 2003
            • 2233
            • Minnetonka, MN, USA.
            • BT3100 "Frankensaw"

            #6
            Originally posted by DUD
            1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
            Yeah. Right. Say a monster king size (for easy math) is 10'x10'=100 sq.ft.. So the water in there would have to be 20x4"=80" high. Mam, would you like a ladder with that bed?

            Comment

            • crokett
              The Full Monte
              • Jan 2003
              • 10627
              • Mebane, NC, USA.
              • Ryobi BT3000

              #7
              Originally posted by DUD
              1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
              No it won't. I was actually thinking in cubic yards of concrete but a yard of water takes up the same amount of volume as a yard of concrete. To cover 2000 sqft 4" deep you'd need ~ 40 yards of water or concrete. Assuming a genrous 12" thickness on a waterbed and 100sqft then you get 100 cubic feet or just north of 3 yards.


              As for the brake fluid/bleach Google says it will make smoke if you get the right brake fluid. What you will get is chlorine gas - a nerve gas.
              David

              The chief cause of failure in this life is giving up what you want most for what you want at the moment.

              Comment

              • Mrs. Wallnut
                Bandsaw Box Momma
                • Apr 2005
                • 1566
                • Ellensburg, Washington, USA.

                #8
                I can add one to this....my brother did this....

                He took a kitten we had and was playing with his GI Joes on the top of his bunk bed. He had the Joes "repelling", which was tying a small rope to them and throwing them off. Well he thought the kitten could do the same thing as the Joes and said he didn't tie the rope to tight on the cats back legs. Well when the kitten came scrambling into the dining room and hid under the table and not using his back legs, I don't think that my brother could sit down for a week after Mom and Dad both got the privelage of taking the belt to his backside.

                The kitten ended up being fine but walked pretty stiff. He never did that again.

                Although he did climb to the top of a tree that we had in our yard and when Mom saw where he was and what he was doing she just about fainted. He was in the top of one of those large pine trees and was swinging back and forth. I remember my mom yelling at him that if he fell and broke his neck she was going to kill him. I just hope that my boys don't do things like that.
                Mrs. Wallnut a.k.a (the head nut).

                Comment

                • gabedad
                  Established Member
                  • May 2005
                  • 142
                  • Chelmsford, MA.
                  • unfortunately bts-15

                  #9
                  1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

                  A king size waterbed holds approx 100 gallons of water - so that's wrong!

                  Comment

                  • Mrs. Wallnut
                    Bandsaw Box Momma
                    • Apr 2005
                    • 1566
                    • Ellensburg, Washington, USA.

                    #10
                    Originally posted by gabedad
                    1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

                    A king size waterbed holds approx 100 gallons of water - so that's wrong!

                    It still will make a big mess no matter how much water a waterbed actually holds. And its not fun cleaning it up and tearing out the carpet and drying everything out IMO.
                    Mrs. Wallnut a.k.a (the head nut).

                    Comment

                    • DUD
                      Veteran Member
                      • Dec 2002
                      • 3309
                      • Jonesboro, Arkansas, USA.
                      • Ryobi BT3000

                      #11
                      I didn't mean for this discussion to become whether it is factual or not, it is supposed to be slightly funny. Bill
                      5 OUT OF 4 PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND FRACTIONS.

                      Comment

                      • steve-norrell
                        Veteran Member
                        • Apr 2006
                        • 1001
                        • The Great Land - Alaska
                        • BT3100-1

                        #12
                        Lets be careful here. We don't want to stiffle the natural curiosity and exploration efforts of the young lads.

                        And, why are the boys being singled out. I have two daughters and they showed the same amount of curiosity as our son and grandsons.

                        Regards, SN

                        Comment

                        • Richard in Smithville
                          Veteran Member
                          • Oct 2006
                          • 3014
                          • On the TARDIS
                          • BT 3100

                          #13
                          "A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep."

                          This statement may or may not be true,but....a small dog will chew through a kingsize water bed before his/her owners wake up and catch him/her at it. It will cause a large wet area in the second floor bedroom, causing my neighbors( see, it wasn't me!) to scramble with the garden hose at six o'clock on a saturday morning, draining the water bed in a controled manner .
                          From the "deep south" part of Canada

                          Richard in Smithville

                          http://richardspensandthings.blogspot.com/

                          Comment

                          • Mrs. Wallnut
                            Bandsaw Box Momma
                            • Apr 2005
                            • 1566
                            • Ellensburg, Washington, USA.

                            #14
                            Originally posted by DUD
                            I didn't mean for this discussion to become whether it is factual or not, it is supposed to be slightly funny. Bill

                            I thought it was hilarious and I am going to pass it on to my brothers son and then as his son gets older tell him all the things that his daddy used to do
                            Mrs. Wallnut a.k.a (the head nut).

                            Comment

                            • jseklund
                              Established Member
                              • Aug 2006
                              • 428

                              #15
                              Ok, so I started to think along the lines of "BS". I too said in my head- "Let's calculate the height of the waterbed". And then I saw the "A cat will vomit twice its own weight when dizzy." I thought- impossible. Mass doesn't just spontaneously appear.

                              Then I realized the point isn't to be factual- it's funny! When I saw the clorox/brake fluid I was thinking, "I'll have to try that one when I get home". Then I saw #25. Hilarious.
                              F#$@ no good piece of S#$% piece of #$@#% #@$#% #$@#$ wood! Dang. - Me woodworking

                              Comment

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