Should I feel bad?

[Bruce Cohen]

Somethings never change

Hey Ken,

I see that "Charlie" still hasn't learned to drive. Only now I doubt they'll frag you if you're in an open jeep.

And to think, I spent two tours there and it didn't make a dent (that's a pun)

Bruce
Still confused

[DIYJC]

Crokett, I don't know that I could have kept from doing the very same thing you did, considering how close the other driver came to causing you to wreck. But, I will say that in this day and age, you NEVER know what you may encounter when you come up on another car. That woman could have just as easily powered down the window and popped you in the face with a .25 auto from out of her purse. I sometimes actually try to think like this in light that I have two young boys that I love dearly and I don't want to miss out on their lives or leave them without a dad.

[91FE]

...And I can guarantee that you'd be regretting that incident till this day.

I can't argue that. It was the first and only time I actually "saw red". I was out of my mind with rage and operating totally on impulse.

[monte]

Lawdy that brings back memories - Saigon 1970 - hasn't changed a bit.

It definately looks familiar. The only thing missing is the military vehicles.

[scottjbs]

interesting

too often people complain about how society is going to hades in a handbasket.... and then do nothing about it. You did, good for you.

I know, we're not our brothers keepers. And if got anywhere near that, you'd hear me hollering against meddling people. (although, certain legislation of morals creeps on that, but that's another argument). Anyway, so people do nothing and then wonder why the fabric of society grows thin. By stressing and enforcing certain things, it helps. Of course, dropping dime on anyone is never allowed (okay, maybe murder/rape).

As far as getting killed? I doubt it. How many murders in the US last year? and how many as a result of road rage? not too many I bet. could happen sure, but very unlikely. I bet you've got better odds getting killed in a car accident then getting killed in an altercation of this sort. This is most likely a product of the media, you know "if it bleeds it leads" stuff. You might get punched yerself, but killed? doubful. I'm gonna be afraid to voice my opinion? I don't think so.

Well, whatever, you done good.

curt j.

After reading your response about the incident with the "hesitating driver", I couldn't help but email you and say that your response was precisely what I say to people all the time. If people don't start correcting others' and making their complaints known, then we as a country are in big trouble. I say that we are adults, so handle it as such. NO NEED TO CALL IN ANYONE ELSE. If more people would start correcting others' actions on a regular basis, there would be vast improvement in our society. To **** with being afraid..... that is all a byproduct of the media. I personally hate the news, and never watch it. It is the armpit of America, and instills fear and distrust in the citizens of this country with the nonsense reported. I think only a couple of people being killed, even daily, is fractional in comparison to the amount of people harmoniously co-existing in cities where populations are in the millions. I don't know about you, but seems to me that people AREN'T out there killing one another based on how many are out there living day to day as opposed to dying. For the most part, I just try to open doors, give change when someone at the register is short, greet people, let em' in at an intersection, etc. But, hey, I'm the kinda guy who followed two different cops in my city last year, just to let them know that they are not above the law... therefore are expected to use their blinkers and not speed just as I. And, when they got smart and with me, I promptly got out the cell phone and got the supervisor on duty....... needless to say...... they weren't talking a whole lot after that. So, people of America, please..... let your position be known, and stop letting it be...."Nothing is gonna change." Because, of course it won't if you don't even attempt to make it change in the first place!!!!! Just thought I would let you know that your thoughts are echoed......

[gjat]

I spent a fun filled 3 hours directing traffic around my tech's bucket truck while he tuned the detection cameras, yesterday. Believe me, she isn't the only 'ditz' out there. But in reality, some people drive like idiots because they are in fear of making a mistake, others lack the attention to plan their moves and evaluate the situation.
I personally would have loved to make a half dozen idiots cry and hope they learned the lesson. I don't because I know they would instead only remember what a jerk I was, and would ignore what they did or failed to do.
I certainly feel for you and share your desire to 'make an impact', but I've confronted enough idiot drivers to believe all she's thinking about is what a jerk you were to her and that she didn't derserve that because neither of you actually damaged your cars or hurt anyone.

[jdoolitt]

Glad everything worked out and nobody was hurt. I can't say I agree with many of the posts in this thread. People make mistakes when driving. We all do at one point or another. If you think getting out of a car and confronting the people who have had a brain cloud in an agressive manner is going to have a positive impact on that driver - I think you're wrong. In fact (as pointed out above) it is more likely the other driver will remember you as the one in the wrong. Best to shake it off, and be on your way. As pointed out already, the law is not in your favor if you decide to teach someone a lesson anyway. Sorry for the mini-rant, and it's not directed at the original poster or anyone in particular -- mostly just at the "confront them" sentiment in several of the posts of this thread. - two cents -

[gsmittle]

Ya never know...

Glad everything worked out and nobody was hurt. I can't say I agree with many of the posts in this thread. People make mistakes when driving. We all do at one point or another. If you think getting out of a car and confronting the people who have had a brain cloud in an agressive manner is going to have a positive impact on that driver - I think you're wrong. In fact (as pointed out above) it is more likely the other driver will remember you as the one in the wrong. Best to shake it off, and be on your way. As pointed out already, the law is not in your favor if you decide to teach someone a lesson anyway. Sorry for the mini-rant, and it's not directed at the original poster or anyone in particular -- mostly just at the "confront them" sentiment in several of the posts of this thread. - two cents -

I have to echo many people here: you never know what the person in the other car will do. I had a friend that used to keep a loaded .45 auto under the driver's seat.

Once in a major traffic jam I had a gentleman (I better call him that or I'll call him something much worse) zoom up on the right shoulder and then whip in front of me (there was about 0.093 inches clearance before he came over), then flip me off, shake his fist, etc. THEN he made a fist and pointed at the shoulder again. So I flipped on my right blinker and when he pulled to the right I gunned it and left him sitting on the shoulder behind a stalled car that evidently he didn't see. Now that's entertainment!

Recently I saw a couple of drivers on the interstate try to play "tag" with each other. One guy jumped off at an exit ramp and the other drove through the grass to get to him. Last I saw as I was dialing 911 was them squaring off to fight. Called the HP and gave them the location. I don't know what happened--I didn't stick around since my kids were home alone.

What really gripes my butt is the people who will pull out inches in front of me when I'm pulling the travel trailer. Combined weight of the Suburban and trailer is a hair under 12000 lbs. It won't stop on a dime.

It's always best to let cooler heads prevail....

g.

[mudder]

As for the other comments regarding my personal safety, good points but I defy any of you not to react when someone stupidly puts one of yours in danger.

Sorry David,

You are guilty of putting your Daughter in danger as well.

Back in November I had a guy try to turn left from a lane that was clearly marked to go straight. I did not let him in and when he tried to turn left and go around me in a breakdown lane he neary hit a parked car. When we got to the traffic light he bumped my car and got out to start a fight. He got a good shot in and I wound up with a fat lip. My punch caught him square in the nose and he went down like a sack of wet cement.
Fortunately the event was witnessed by an off duty Police Officer and now the guy is facing charges of attempted carjacking.

Had you been alone in the car I would be on your side but you let temper get the better of you and by exiting your vehicle and confronting the other driver you put your child at risk.

Should you feel bad?..... Only you can answer that and it appears that you have. I'm glad that nobody was hurt.

Scott

[scorrpio]

Indeed, human psychology is a fascinating thing. That woman did not drive off with a feeling of shame for her horrible driving. She drove off wallowing in self-pity, feeling victimized. And once self-pity rolls in, all bets are off. She will start thinking that she pulled out having enough clearance, that your car was coming on way too fast, the fact that she hesitated would slip her mind altogeather. Before she gets home, she'll be totally convinced that YOU almost caused an accident and then went on offensive trying to make it look like her fault.

Just like in a workshop, it is never a good thing to lose your cool. Really, rolling down a window, stating in a calm tone that she almost caused you to crash and you have a child in the car, and driving off would totally hammer her with what SHE did. Without a mental image of you yelling at her, that feeling of shame would be hard to shake.

And before you feel the urge to jump out of the car again: think carefully back to the scene. You were out of your car, your attention concentrated on that woman, your car behind you with engine running, keys in ignition, driver door open. Correct? How long would it take for that woman's accomplice to jump into the driver's seat, slam the door and drive off? With your daughter still in the back seat no less? It is done easily. Someone at prior traffic light scopes out the cars, looking for male drivers of powerful build and agressive outlook, who appear driving single, and radios the 'idiot driver' waiting at an intersection ahead. As target car approaches, 'idiot driver' runs the stop sign, nearly causing a crash. If the target driver flips the bird and drives off, trap is reset. If the driver jumps out to 'educate the idiot' - an accomplice posing as a passerby makes off in his car while he is busy 'educating'.

Sure, ninety nine times out of a hundred there will be no accomplice and no stageup. Do you still want to risk that one percent chance?

[Bruce Cohen]

Without taking a stance about this "matter", I truly believe that an IQ test should be included as part of the procedure to obtain a drivers license, perhaps a mimimum score of (fill in the blank) would be a passing (no pun intended} grade (again , no pun inteded).

Bruce

[Thalermade]

Anybody else out there currently teaching a teenager to drive? As I remind my son, driving is a privilege, not a right.

Maybe the woman was a new driver. Maybe she was not familiar with the intersection. Maybe she just received some devasting news about a loved one and was on her way to a hospital. She made a mistake.

I think just by asking the question, you provide your own answer.

Be safe

Russ

[TJG]

In short, if you don't know the other person, you don't know what they are capable of doing. It's best to approach the situation cautiously, and evaluate it before you regret it. An angry person is more likely to get hurt then one that isn't angry. The reason is they are more concerned about venting their anger (or making the other person cry) that they don't focus on what is going on around them. They can easily trip on something, or bump into something, and end up even more angry. Imagine if you had approached her car in anger, tripped on something, fell forward, and broke her window. To you it was a trip, to her, she might think you just broke her window trying to get at her.

The woman, in this situation, had a weapon and you didn't realize it - her car keys. She could have easily stabbed you with them, and even if she didn't kill you, could definitely harm you, and claim self defense if she thought you were about to harm her.

As to your daughter being 17 Mos and not knowing what happened - you should add the word 'today' to the end of that sentence. You don't regret your actions, so chances are you won't change your behavior. At some point, she will probably see dad repeat this performance, when she is old enough to know what happened.

As to defying us to act differently - I do it all the time. The very type of intersection you describe is about 150 yards from where I live. My wife and I go to work in the morning, when it is still dark. People approach the intersection in a hurry, thinking about running the stop sign. Most of them stop, but are a third of the way into the intersection before they do. I've learned to approach it cautiously, with one foot covering the brake and one hand near the horn. I do not react in anger.

Most times I'm on the road, I see my fair share of idiot drivers, and I do comment on their stupidity. I don't, however, get angry, I just give them room and make sure they are in front of me where I can watch them.

As to the members that say we need to address these situations, I agree, but anger is probably not the best method of educating people. As soon as someone starts huffing and puffing, flailing their hands about and yelling, most people are going to put up a wall. They stop listening to what you are saying and start watching what you are doing. Your words won't hurt them, but your actions can and they want to avoid being harmed.

Finally, the laws (traffic laws or otherwise) are made to give people the boundaries of what is right and wrong. IMHO, the cause of most accidents isn't breaking of the laws, it's unpredictable behavior. If everyone's behavior is predictable, all accidents can be avoided. The Saigon video shows this very well - everyone is driving defensively, and moving in a predictable manner.

That's just my 2 cents, for what it's worth.
Tom

[crokett]

Hmm... this thread went in a different direction than I'd intended but here goes to adresss most of the issues raised....

1. My personal safety - she was alone, 40ish and driving a volvo with make love not war-type bumper stickers. So I doubt she had some type of weapon.
2. Self control - my OP gave the wrong impression, my fault. I was actually very much in control and any raising of my voice was calculated to get the reaction I wanted. I learned several years ago that sometimes not yelling is much more effective.
3. Before I exited the car, I turned it off and took the keys. I also locked it.
4. Stupid drivers in general - hopefully there is one less out there.

[JTimmons]

Hmm... this thread went in a different direction than I'd intended but here goes to adresss most of the issues raised....

1. My personal safety - she was alone, 40ish and driving a volvo with make love not war-type bumper stickers. So I doubt she had some type of weapon.
2. Self control - my OP gave the wrong impression, my fault. I was actually very much in control and any raising of my voice was calculated to get the reaction I wanted. I learned several years ago that sometimes not yelling is much more effective.
3. Before I exited the car, I turned it off and took the keys. I also locked it.
4. Stupid drivers in general - hopefully there is one less out there.

I remember several instances of road rage I have experienced and not once do I remember giving a look to see what type of stickers one had on his bumper. I may have noticed after, but never during.

A little wiser now I tend to think things through and don't react the way I would have 10 years ago. Should you feel bad? No! Should you be a little more cautious? Yes!

The bumper stickers she had on her car could have been from a time in her life when she felt peace was the way, but after several years of living with an abusive husband she has turned to a crazied **** bent woman looking for the destruction of all men. AND LOOK here comes Crockett yelling and screaming at her, CLICK, BANG!!!! Get the picture?

What I am getting at is you never know with people, even the people closest to you that you think you know. Concerned with the safety of your child is understandable, my rage came from times my LOML safety was threatened, so I understand. Think about it this way though, you can't protect her EVER again when you're lying dead in the middle of the street, so is it worth it?

Pick your battles, wisely!