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I found this on another site. Unfortunately, I qualify.
I believe that the term geezer is a hard one to identify; so I have developed a list of a few symptoms that go along with the title to help us all better identify if we have reached or are approaching that special age and the title that goes with it. (Did you expect anything else from me?) I'll warn you now; this may be a bit painful for some of you. If you have a bad heart or declining sense of humor, don't read any further. In fact, if you can't laugh at yourself or if you are sensitive about your age, you might want to read something else. This could get real ugly for some of you, and fast.
Anyway, before my fading memory causes me to forget what I was writing, I better get to the list as soon as possible. If any of these symptoms fit you, keep it to yourself. That is especially true if you are younger than I am. If you forget this warning and expose your true age, don't blame me for the results. For all you geezers, get your reading glasses and follow along with me.
1. If your broad shoulders and thick chest have migrated to the vicinity of your belt, you might be a geezer.
2. If you can remember watching Bart Starr play (live) in a super bowl, and especially if you remember which super bowls he played in, you might be a geezer.
3. If your hair is vacating your head and taking up residence in your ears, eyebrows and nose, you might be a geezer.
4. If you have ever attended a sock hop, you might be a geezer.
5. If your eyebrows are thick and stiff enough to scrub the dirt off a truck tire, you might be a geezer.
6. If you can actually remember when the Lakers played basketball in Minnesota, you might be a geezer.
7. If you regularly take aspirin for something other than pain, you might be a geezer.
8. If you can actually remember the terms of more than nine presidents, you might be a geezer.
9. If you think, "getting lucky," means finally winning at bingo, you might be a geezer.
10. If you wear flip-down magnifiers on your fishing hat to avoid asking a stranger to thread the tippet through the eye of your dry fly, you might be a geezer.
11. If hearing a pin drop requires turning up a device in your ear, you might be a geezer.
12. If your glasses have more than one strength in each lens, you might be a geezer.
13. If the regular movement you're most concerned with involves any part of your gastro-intestinal system, you might be a geezer.
14. If milk was ever delivered to your door in a glass bottle, you might be a geezer.
15. If your ability to remember things is exceeded by your ability to forget them, you might be a geezer.
16. If the fiber you think about most often is something you take internally, you might be a geezer.
17. If you can remember using a soft drink machine that served those soft drinks in returnable bottles for less than a dime, you might be a geezer.
18. If the popular flies you started fishing with had names like "professor," "gray hackle peacock," "mite" or "gray hackle yellow," you might be a geezer.
19. If you watched the premier of any Elvis beach movie, you might be a geezer.
20. If you can remember what you were doing the day JFK was shot, you might be a geezer.
21. If your feet fall asleep before you do, you might be a geezer.
22. If you ever paid less than 30 cents a gallon for gasoline, you might be a geezer.
23. If you remember a brand of chewing gum named after a popular card game, and especially if you can name the brand, you might be a geezer.
24. If you have ever stepped on a device on the floorboard of an automobile to engage the starter, you might be a geezer.
25. If you ever owned a new Edsel, and especially if you remember which motor company they were made by, you might be a geezer.
26. If you remember watching the Ed Sullivan show on TV, you might be a geezer.
27. If you have ever used an outhouse, and especially if you remember why there was a Sears & Roebuck or Montgomery Wards catalog in that outhouse, you might be a geezer.
28. If you can remember the "new" television series called "The Lone Ranger," you might be a geezer. (no reruns allowed)
29. If you can tell me who "Howdy Doody" was, you might be a geezer.
30. If you remember when the Dodgers played in Brooklyn, you might be a geezer.
31. If you remember a Saturday morning TV show that involved a lamb puppet and a pretty young lady, you might be a geezer.
32. If you can remember the TV theme tune that had these letters "MIC...KEY", you might be a geezer.
33. If you can remember carhops on roller skates, you might be a geezer.
34. If you know what green stamps were used for, you might be a geezer.
35. If you know what a roller skate key is used for, you might be a geezer.
36. If you can remember drinking a "fizzy", you might be a geezer.
37. If your teeth spend the night in any place other than your mouth, you might be a geezer.
38. If you remember what character Dennis Weaver played in Gunsmoke, you might be a geezer.
39. If the hair color on your driver's license has already changed to gray, you might be a geezer.
40. And finally, if any part of your body is man-made, you might be a geezer.
Well, how did you do? If you remember more than 10, you're probably approaching the geezer age. If you remember more than 20, you're already there. If you got more than 30 right, you are entrenched in geezerhood. If you remember all 40, I'm surprised you can remember anything at all.
I believe that the term geezer is a hard one to identify; so I have developed a list of a few symptoms that go along with the title to help us all better identify if we have reached or are approaching that special age and the title that goes with it. (Did you expect anything else from me?) I'll warn you now; this may be a bit painful for some of you. If you have a bad heart or declining sense of humor, don't read any further. In fact, if you can't laugh at yourself or if you are sensitive about your age, you might want to read something else. This could get real ugly for some of you, and fast.
Anyway, before my fading memory causes me to forget what I was writing, I better get to the list as soon as possible. If any of these symptoms fit you, keep it to yourself. That is especially true if you are younger than I am. If you forget this warning and expose your true age, don't blame me for the results. For all you geezers, get your reading glasses and follow along with me.
1. If your broad shoulders and thick chest have migrated to the vicinity of your belt, you might be a geezer.
2. If you can remember watching Bart Starr play (live) in a super bowl, and especially if you remember which super bowls he played in, you might be a geezer.
3. If your hair is vacating your head and taking up residence in your ears, eyebrows and nose, you might be a geezer.
4. If you have ever attended a sock hop, you might be a geezer.
5. If your eyebrows are thick and stiff enough to scrub the dirt off a truck tire, you might be a geezer.
6. If you can actually remember when the Lakers played basketball in Minnesota, you might be a geezer.
7. If you regularly take aspirin for something other than pain, you might be a geezer.
8. If you can actually remember the terms of more than nine presidents, you might be a geezer.
9. If you think, "getting lucky," means finally winning at bingo, you might be a geezer.
10. If you wear flip-down magnifiers on your fishing hat to avoid asking a stranger to thread the tippet through the eye of your dry fly, you might be a geezer.
11. If hearing a pin drop requires turning up a device in your ear, you might be a geezer.
12. If your glasses have more than one strength in each lens, you might be a geezer.
13. If the regular movement you're most concerned with involves any part of your gastro-intestinal system, you might be a geezer.
14. If milk was ever delivered to your door in a glass bottle, you might be a geezer.
15. If your ability to remember things is exceeded by your ability to forget them, you might be a geezer.
16. If the fiber you think about most often is something you take internally, you might be a geezer.
17. If you can remember using a soft drink machine that served those soft drinks in returnable bottles for less than a dime, you might be a geezer.
18. If the popular flies you started fishing with had names like "professor," "gray hackle peacock," "mite" or "gray hackle yellow," you might be a geezer.
19. If you watched the premier of any Elvis beach movie, you might be a geezer.
20. If you can remember what you were doing the day JFK was shot, you might be a geezer.
21. If your feet fall asleep before you do, you might be a geezer.
22. If you ever paid less than 30 cents a gallon for gasoline, you might be a geezer.
23. If you remember a brand of chewing gum named after a popular card game, and especially if you can name the brand, you might be a geezer.
24. If you have ever stepped on a device on the floorboard of an automobile to engage the starter, you might be a geezer.
25. If you ever owned a new Edsel, and especially if you remember which motor company they were made by, you might be a geezer.
26. If you remember watching the Ed Sullivan show on TV, you might be a geezer.
27. If you have ever used an outhouse, and especially if you remember why there was a Sears & Roebuck or Montgomery Wards catalog in that outhouse, you might be a geezer.
28. If you can remember the "new" television series called "The Lone Ranger," you might be a geezer. (no reruns allowed)
29. If you can tell me who "Howdy Doody" was, you might be a geezer.
30. If you remember when the Dodgers played in Brooklyn, you might be a geezer.
31. If you remember a Saturday morning TV show that involved a lamb puppet and a pretty young lady, you might be a geezer.
32. If you can remember the TV theme tune that had these letters "MIC...KEY", you might be a geezer.
33. If you can remember carhops on roller skates, you might be a geezer.
34. If you know what green stamps were used for, you might be a geezer.
35. If you know what a roller skate key is used for, you might be a geezer.
36. If you can remember drinking a "fizzy", you might be a geezer.
37. If your teeth spend the night in any place other than your mouth, you might be a geezer.
38. If you remember what character Dennis Weaver played in Gunsmoke, you might be a geezer.
39. If the hair color on your driver's license has already changed to gray, you might be a geezer.
40. And finally, if any part of your body is man-made, you might be a geezer.
Well, how did you do? If you remember more than 10, you're probably approaching the geezer age. If you remember more than 20, you're already there. If you got more than 30 right, you are entrenched in geezerhood. If you remember all 40, I'm surprised you can remember anything at all.
I'm a geezer
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