Policy for ladies locker room

[cgallery]

Wife operates a swim team for young men and women.

On occasion, the girls have entered the ladies locker room and found a male coach from another team.

The locker room is used for multiple sports (swimming, soccer, softball, baseball, etc.). These coaches are never told that they'd have exclusive use of the locker room.

Recently, for example, the girls on the swim team were finished with practice, went downstairs (to the locker room), and found the male coach from another school's soccer team holding a meeting with "his" girls INSIDE the locker room.

I feel this is crossing boundaries, and I'm surprised that any male coach would walk into a girls locker room in this day and age.

Given all the recent scandals with coaches getting too close to their players, I'm not sure the best way to handle it.

I've created a poll, but if I've missed a better solution, please let me hear about it.

[sweensdv]

Just where is the coach of a visiting team supposed to hold a meeting with his/her team? Unless the host school provides separate accommodations for meetings what has he/she done wrong? Of course, the coach should not be in the locker room when the team is dressing or showering but that should be a given. I'm not saying you're guilty of this but it amazes me that anyone would want to coach a team of youngster these days what with the sideways glances adult mentors receive today.

[Black wallnut]

ditto Dave!

[cgallery]

Just where is the coach of a visiting team supposed to hold a meeting with his/her team?

Uh, anywhere except a ladies locker room that you don't have exclusive use of?

The girls from the swim team didn't find him until they came out of the shower and were nude.

If you're in most (at least around here) high school ladies locker rooms after a school day, you can rest assured that there will be girls in there with you that aren't on your team.

What is the mystique of meetings in the locker room anyway? Have your meeting on the corner of the field.

[Richard in Smithville]

I have two teen daughters and neither one would be on any team if the male coach was entering an area that is exclusive to females. Inform the coach that he needs to find an alternative for team meetings and if he has issues then inform the school.

[Black wallnut]

Wow now I need to edit it to change my vote! One of the few perks of the job.

I'm thinking that it is a misunderstanding that can be cleared up through communication.

[cgallery]

Herein lies the problem: Just kicking the guy out (with a possible stern warning) may not be enough. If he is a perv and this is a pattern of behavior, the only way to find out and put a stop to it (and prevent it from escalating) is alerting his school's administration (or the board, or the cops).

OTOH, if he isn't a perv, then you've gone WAY TO FAR. You can never unring the bell.

But as some parents on the team said, it should just be common sense not to enter that locker room. That, anybody seeing all the stories about coaches getting caught in inappropriate relationships with these kids has got to know that.

My possible compromise is to just let the local school's administration know (they do already), and expect them to handle it correctly.

No guarantee that the right thing will happen. There is a recent case here where a teacher has worked for several different districts over the last six or seven years and each time there were suspicions, the teacher was allowed to leave and go to work in another district (where the behavior repeated).

It would be nice if one athletic director could call another and say, "hey Bob, does that soccer coach like to hang-out in girls locker rooms?" But that may not even be possible in today's litigious society.

[radhak]

Is it the same coach, or more than one? And is this inside a school, or different?

First thing to do is to get management/admin concurrence that this is not appropriate. Not difficult - just raise the issue and you should have heads nodding in support.

Then, notify; and I don't mean individually : I think the board outside that says "Girls Locker Room" should be deterrence enough, but to remove all doubts, there should be another board added that says something like : "No males allowed, not even coaches or teachers (and it means you - Joe!). Violations will be reported to law enforcement. "

After that, it should be open season on Bubba.

So there you go - more options to add to your list.

[Knottscott]

Our CYO basketball teams often have half time meetings in a corner of the gym....the privacy of a locker room isn't a necessity for team chats.

There's no valid reason a male coach should be in a female locker room that his team doesn't have exclusive use of, and it needs to be a clear policy. There's just too much opportunity for problems. If he ever walked in on one of my daughter's dressing in that locker room, he'd not only have an embarrassed young lady, he'd have some pissed off parents to deal with....even if he was her coach.

[jackellis]

Men who coach women should know better. If the coach needs a place for a private team meeting, he should make suitable arrangements before his team travels. He should not enter a restroom or locker room that has a sign saying "women" or "girls".

[sweensdv]

................
Recently, for example, the girls on the swim team were finished with practice, went downstairs (to the locker room), and found the male coach from another school's soccer team holding a meeting with "his" girls INSIDE the locker room.

............

The girls from the swim team didn't find him until they came out of the shower and were nude.

Which of those two circumstances is the one that really happened. Was the coach already in the locker room before the swim team finished practice or did he come in while they were showering. Two very different set of circumstances indeed. Mr original response would certainly have been different if the girls were already in the shower when he entered. But, if it happened the way you originally said it did then I stand by what I said originally.

[cgallery]

Is it the same coach, or more than one? And is this inside a school, or different?

First thing to do is to get management/admin concurrence that this is not appropriate. Not difficult - just raise the issue and you should have heads nodding in support.

Then, notify; and I don't mean individually : I think the board outside that says "Girls Locker Room" should be deterrence enough, but to remove all doubts, there should be another board added that says something like : "No males allowed, not even coaches or teachers (and it means you - Joe!). Violations will be reported to law enforcement. "

After that, it should be open season on Bubba.

So there you go - more options to add to your list.

(1) This is a first for this coach.

(2) My wife was a little stunned when she mentioned the problem to an administrator at the school. He just wasn't that interested. Even said something like, "the only way to guarantee it not happening is for you to stop using the pool." Kind of a threat, as in "don't complain or the pool will be unavailable." Problem for him is, that decision is above his pay grade, and the team writes substantial checks to use that pool. Furthermore, locking horns with my wife on the wrong side of the issue (especially seeing as she has been nude in that locker room on occasion) was DUMB. When they were done talking, he was convinced that he needed to get to the bottom of the issue.

(3) I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE. It isn't my call, but a sign outside that says "NO MEN ALLOWED, VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED" would send the right message.

[cgallery]

Which of those two circumstances is the one that really happened. Was the coach already in the locker room before the swim team finished practice or did he come in while they were showering. Two very different set of circumstances indeed. Mr original response would certainly have been different if the girls were already in the locker room when he entered. But, if it happened the way you originally said it did then I stand by what I said originally.

They aren't mutually exclusive, but I could have been more clear (sorry).

Locker rooms attached to a pool typically have two entrances. One through the showers, the other through the hallway.

If you finish swimming, you enter through the showers. You shower, are nude, and then enter the locker room. You get dressed, then exit to the hallway.

The coach was already in the locker room when the girls entered from the shower. But he shouldn't have been there, IMO.

It has been a while since you were high school, eh? Forgotten how the pool showers work?

[master53yoda]

i think that it should be a written notice in team communications so there is no doubt he knows its off limits, then if it happens call in law enforcement.

[LCHIEN]

...and signs on all locker room entrances.

Then, call the cops.