The economy is so bad that:

[phi1l]

The economy is so bad that:

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail..

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked,
"Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you
call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico .

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

ExxonMobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

[Mr__Bill]

The economy is so bad:
Minnesota is selling it's snow to Florida

[crokett]

The economy is so bad:
Minnesota is selling it's snow to Florida

Minnesota doesn't need to - it snowed (well flurried) in Florida last week.

[Mr__Bill]

Minnesota doesn't need to - it snowed (well flurried) in Florida last week.

Clever delivery system those Minnesotans have, Eh?

[crokett]

Clever delivery system those Minnesotans have, Eh?

Ya got me there!

[cabinetman]

Clever delivery system those Minnesotans have, Eh?

It was Air Mail.
.

[JoeyGee]

Clever delivery system those Minnesotans have, Eh?

I have some FREE Ohio snow, and I'll deliver it myself. All you need to do is pay for my gas .

[Richard in Smithville]

I have some FREE Ohio snow, and I'll deliver it myself. All you need to do is pay for my gas .

Ontario snow....not only is delivery included but if you order now I'll throw in bitter cold weather and to the first 100 callers.............Yes...your own set of Ginsu Knives!

[sparkeyjames]

The economy is so bad I don't have enough money to pay attention.

[gsmittle]

The economy is so bad that robbers are breaking into banks and leaving money.

g.

[dbhost]

The economy is so bad that African television stations are showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!

The economy is so bad, a picture is now only worth 200 words.

It's so bad, Snoop Dogg had to start eating regular brownies.

The economy is so bad, I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.

The economy is so bad, I went to my bank the other day and the teller handed me a note saying, "This is a robbery!"

The economy is so bad, Bill Gates had to switch to dial up.

The economy is so bad, Dr. Seuss rose from the grave to write a new book: Green Eggs and Spam.

The economy is so bad that I went to my bank to get a loan, they said, "What a coincidence! That's just what we were going to ask you!"

The economy is so bad, rapper 50 Cent had to change his name to 10 Cent.

The economy is so bad, my ATM gave me an IOU!

The economy is so bad that the highest-paying job in town is jury duty.

The economy is so bad I saw a man in Costco buying one roll of toilet paper.

The economy is so bad that I saw a van full of legal immigrants illegally crossing the border to Mexico.

The economy is so bad that a truckload of Americans were arrested for illegally entering Mexico.

The economy is so bad that parents in Bevery Hills are considering raising their own children.

The economy is so bad that even people who aren't politically connected aren't paying taxes.

The economy is so bad I saw a polygamist with only one wife.

The economy is so bad that I saw someone using the sun to get a tan!

The economy is so bad that wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

The economy is so bad, I saw four CEOs playing miniature golf.

The economy is so bad, Hot Wheels stock is trading higher than GM.

The economy is so bad, the President met with three small businesses to discuss his Stimulus Plan: GM, Pfizer, and Citigroup.

It's so bad, McDonalds is introducing the 1/4-Ouncer.

The economy's so bad, Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

The economy is so bad, mothers in Ethiopia are telling their children, "Finish your meal! Don't you know there are starving children in the US?"

The economy is so bad, that a prostitute asked me if she could borrow $20 until she can get back on her back.

It's so bad, a stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

The economy is so bad, that Martha Stewart did a show on creative uses for food stamps.

The economy is so bad, Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

The economy is so bad, my sister had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

The economy is so bad, that I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.

It's so bad, I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

The economy is so bad, hobos in Beverly Hills now have to drink tap water.

The economy is so bad, Barack Obama unveiled his plan to close Guantanamo Bay for good: He's turning it into a bank!

The economy is so bad, that the White House turkey turned down his Thanksgiving pardon-- all his wealth was in stocks, and he has nothing to live for.

The economy is so bad, Sarah Palin is only shooting moose for food, not for fun.

It's so bad, I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

The economy is so bad, my niece told me she wants to dress up as a 401-K for Halloween so that she can turn invisible.

The economy is so bad, that instead of a coin toss at the beginning of the Super Bowl, they played "Rock, Paper, Scissors."

The economy is so bad that Roy's tigers are now eating him out of necessity.

The economy is so bad, the Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

It's so bad, they built an Indian reservation on a casino.

The economy is so bad, people are standing behind George Bush wherever he goes hoping for free shoes.

The economy is so bad, Michael Phelps has to share a bong.

The economy is so bad that when Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The economy is so bad, a certain celebutante changed her name to "Paris Holiday Inn."

The economy is so bad, Malia and Sasha Obama started a lemonade stand to raise money for bailouts.

It's so bad, the Lone Ranger sold his silver bullets on Ebay.

The economy is so bad that 7 of 10 houses on Sesame Street are in foreclosure.

The economy is so bad that the only company hiring this week is the one that sends people to scrape bankers off the sidewalk on Wall Street.

It's so bad, they renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street."

The economy is so bad, Angelina had to adopt a highway.

And lastly...

The economy is so bad... I can't even pay attention!

[Mr__Bill]

The economy is so bad I am going to have to dip into the bit bucket.....

[Al R.]

Yes, the economy is so bad that I was offered a volunteer job as a closing-door-specialist in the bank every evening. I am now in charge of closing the safe’s main door with my own supervision, training as a community organizer.

[master53yoda]

The economy is so bad that I went to my bank to get a loan, they said, "What a coincidence! That's just what we were going to ask you!"

what isn't so funny to me is that the deposit in a bank has always been a loan to the bank, they certainly don't have the money in the vault. The banks have always been middle men between the depositors and the borrowers. For me I do my lending directly that way its my problem if there is a default.

There isn't but maybe 1 or 2 banks in each state that could actually handle a run. the FDIC could only help a few banks before they run out of money to "insure the deposits" ??????). this includes the biggies. During the first 1/3 of the down cycle look at what happened to the banking industry. watch what happens during the second 2/3 of the down cycle.

just food for thought

[phrog]

The economy is so bad that the Pentagon is refusing to pay more than $500.00 for a hammer.