A Bad Accident

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  • cabinetman
    Gone but not Forgotten RIP
    • Jun 2006
    • 15216
    • So. Florida
    • Delta

    #1

    A Bad Accident

    A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says "Ah .. I see you regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway.. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but …. something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, something was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it".

    The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new one that will work as well as your old one did – better in fact! But the thing is that it isn't cheap. It is $1000 an inch.

    The man perks up at this. "So", the doctor says, "It's for you to decide how you want to proceed, and what you'll choose. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. It's an important decision that you and your wife should probably talk over. The man agrees to talk to his wife.

    The doctor comes back the next day and says "So, have you spoken to your wife?"

    "I have" says the man.

    "And she has helped you in making the decision?"

    "Yes she has", the man says.

    "And what is it ?" the doctor asked.

    "We're getting new granite countertops".
    .
  • atgcpaul
    Veteran Member
    • Aug 2003
    • 4055
    • Maryland
    • Grizzly 1023SLX

    #2
    ROFL!!

    My parents are getting new granite countertops this week after nearly two
    months of my dad and me demoing/rebuilding my mom's kitchen. She's been
    cooking in their unheated/uninsulated garage on a hotplate. I can totally
    understand that guy's wife. My mom would probably make the same decision
    at this point.

    Paul

    Comment

    • cgallery
      Veteran Member
      • Sep 2004
      • 4503
      • Milwaukee, WI
      • BT3K

      #3
      Outstanding!

      Comment

      • RAFlorida
        Veteran Member
        • Apr 2008
        • 1179
        • Green Swamp in Central Florida. Gator property!
        • Ryobi BT3000

        #4
        That threw me.

        Surely wasn't expecting to read that, "We're getting new granite countertops".

        Comment

        • Salty
          Senior Member
          • Feb 2006
          • 690
          • Akron, Ohio

          #5
          Well, the countertops will remain shiny and new, fully functional and wrinkle free for years!
          ;-)
          Why doesn't the word 'planing' show up in my computer spell check?

          Comment

          • MilDoc

            #6
            Uh huh. There are some things you do NOT ask your wife about!

            Comment

            • kirkroy
              Established Member
              • Feb 2007
              • 343
              • Brunswick, MD

              #7
              Originally posted by MilDoc
              Uh huh. There are some things you do NOT ask your wife about!
              Yeah, that's not something I would leave in my wife's hands!

              Comment

              • RAFlorida
                Veteran Member
                • Apr 2008
                • 1179
                • Green Swamp in Central Florida. Gator property!
                • Ryobi BT3000

                #8
                Err, Kirkroy, for some reason your post

                brings up the memory about a guy named Bobbit!

                Comment

                • crokett
                  The Full Monte
                  • Jan 2003
                  • 10627
                  • Mebane, NC, USA.
                  • Ryobi BT3000

                  #9
                  I did not expect that! Great joke.
                  David

                  The chief cause of failure in this life is giving up what you want most for what you want at the moment.

                  Comment

                  • Richard in Smithville
                    Veteran Member
                    • Oct 2006
                    • 3014
                    • On the TARDIS
                    • BT 3100

                    #10
                    Yup, I can see some wives wanting to do that!
                    From the "deep south" part of Canada

                    Richard in Smithville

                    http://richardspensandthings.blogspot.com/

                    Comment

                    • LCHIEN
                      Super Moderator
                      • Dec 2002
                      • 21863
                      • Katy, TX, USA.
                      • BT3000 vintage 1999

                      #11
                      if he got a granite member he could keep her happy, too.
                      Loring in Katy, TX USA
                      If your only tool is a hammer, you tend to treat all problems as if they were nails.
                      BT3 FAQ - https://www.sawdustzone.org/forum/di...sked-questions

                      Comment

                      • germdoc
                        Veteran Member
                        • Nov 2003
                        • 3567
                        • Omaha, NE
                        • BT3000--the gray ghost

                        #12
                        I got rid of the wife and am happy with my formica countertops.
                        Jeff


                        “Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing”--Voltaire

                        Comment

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