There's always room

[bfrikken]

Congrats! I'm a proud parent of 2, both adopted.

[BerniePA]

Since you've lived it, I'd be interested in knowing at what age, in your opinion, they should be told, if at all.

Ed

In my case, there were extunuating circumstances that lead me to say it probably was best for me NOT to have known until later years. What was really amazing was that with all my Aunts and Uncles and cousins who were old enough, that NO ONE ever made a slip that I was adopted. Looking back, there were a few moments of curiosity, but that's all they were, were fleeting moments of wonder and then an, "Oh, well, that's not important". An example, as a young teenager or maybe a little younger even, I become a little interested in astrology. I asked my mother what time of day I was born and she said "If I remember right, I think it was about 3 in the afternoon". After I became a father myself, I realized that ANY mother can probably tell you EXACTLY to the second when her children were born. Not they "think" it was "about". Little things like these that are dismissed at the time, but in hindsight are little clues -- very little.

Anyway, I think my case is unusual and I feel that a child should be told at a young age, as soon as they can understand the concept so they can get on with the business of feeling that they "belong" -- something which I always felt I did belong, since I knew no different, and when I did find out, it made no difference to me by then anyway.

[germdoc]

I was adopted and knew so from an early age. At age 25 I contacted my birthmother. I have met several other family members and am quite close to my half-sister.

However, I have always felt that my parents were the ones who raised me.

[Ed62]

Thanks for all the replies. This has become a pretty good thread.

Ed

[os1kne]

Congratulations! I am the proud parent of a 1-yr old adopted son, and my wife and I are starting the process for #2.

To those that indicated that it is wise to let the child know that they are adopted asap - thank you! My wife has felt that we should let our son know as soon as he would understand - but I wasn't so sure. Now I am sure that letting him know sooner is better than later. Thanks.