I haven't got online much due to the virus I was infect with, Thanks to the people that
helped Me and a special Thank You to Scott. Thanks All, and I hope You like this one.
Bill
They're Back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for the church ladies who type them. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
-----------------------------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
-----------------------------------------------
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
-----------------------------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
-----------------------------------------------
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
-----------------------------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say '****' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
------------------------------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
------------------------------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
-----------------------------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery down stairs.
------------------------------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
------------------------------------------------
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'
------------------------------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
------------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is ****?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
------------------------------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
------------------------------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
------------------------------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
------------------------------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
------------------------------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
------------------------------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
------------------------------------------------
The Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
------------------------------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
------------------------------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
------------------------------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours
helped Me and a special Thank You to Scott. Thanks All, and I hope You like this one.
Bill
They're Back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for the church ladies who type them. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
-----------------------------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
-----------------------------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
-----------------------------------------------
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
-----------------------------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
-----------------------------------------------
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
-----------------------------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say '****' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
------------------------------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
------------------------------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
-----------------------------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery down stairs.
------------------------------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
------------------------------------------------
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'
------------------------------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
------------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is ****?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
------------------------------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
------------------------------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
------------------------------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
------------------------------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
------------------------------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
------------------------------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
------------------------------------------------
The Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
------------------------------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
------------------------------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
------------------------------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours



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