19 Ways

[DUD]

I received this from My Nephew, it said 20 ways to do this. As I'm not sending it by email,

I made it 19 ways. I hope You enjoy this, I enjoyed them all but especially #19. Bill


19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
>
> 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point
> a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
> 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
> 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want
> Fries with that.
> 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it 'In'.
> 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten
> Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
> 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Smuggling
> Diamonds'.
> 7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
> 8. Don't use any punctuation.
> 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
> 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious
> face.
> 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
> 12. Sing Along At The Opera.
> 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
> 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical
> Sounds All Day.
> 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their
> Party Because You're Not In the Mood.
> 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock
> Bottom.
> 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
> 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot,
> Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
> 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going
> To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

[Mrs. Wallnut]

I think that I might try #19 with my kids tonight. I wish it was that easy, or if we could trade them in on a model that doesn't eat as much as a growing 12 year old boy.

When I was a kid my mother did #17 with the local ATM. And then just recently we were at a casino in the Tacoma area and when she went and got money did the same thing there.

[leehljp]

I do the # 10 Diet water gig in Japanese. It is just as fun here! I especially do it in US chain restaurants like OutBack or Denneys. If they say they don't have it, I tell then that they do in the States!

Another thing I occasionally do when LOML and I get compliments on our Japanese ability - I say with a straight face: Yes we are pretty good considering we just started studying Japanese about 6 months ago. (We have been here over 22 years)

[DUD]

I told My Junior High Grandchild #19 on the way to school this morning She didn't think it

was funny. Bill

[pelligrini]

I used to tell my kids I tried selling them, but everyone kept asking for too much so we were forced to keep 'em.

[BobSch]

I had to chuckle at #1. A school crossing guard around here got tired of drivers speeding through her school zone, so she brought her hair drier to work. She'd stand behind a tree and when someone came speeding down the hill she'd pop out and aim the dryer at them — a lot of cars with square tires!

[andrew.r.w]

I I wish ... we could trade them in on a model that doesn't eat as much as a growing 12 year old boy ...

That would be a good trade. I don't care how much she eats!

[pacwind3]

Number 11 is one I used to do when I was in high school. Though it's very funny on paper, in my adulthood I've realized it's probably an excellent way to get your food spit on.

[Richard in Smithville]

> 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot,
> Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
> '

My daughters want to use this one when we go to the zoo in two weeks.