Senior Dress Code

[Daryl]

From an e-mail:

Many of us 'Old Folks' (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering near 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves.

We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions.

Despite what you may have seen on the streets,the following combinations DO NOT go together And should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Mini skirts and support hose

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

6. Speedo's and cellulite

7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge

10. Bikinis and liver spots

11. Short shorts and varicose veins

12. Inline skates and a walker And last , but not least

13. Thongs and Depends

[LCHIEN]

ooooooohhhhhhh, no! Thongs and depends.... now I can't get that image out of my mind!

[cabinetman]

Reading the list, #4 about the support hose reminds me of a favor I tried to do for an elderly lady in the grocery store. I was behind her in the checkout line, and told her in a whisper that her stockings were wrinkled. She got mad and told me she wasn't wearing any.
.

[Hellrazor]

ooooooohhhhhhh, no! Thongs and depends.... now I can't get that image out of my mind!

I wonder which they put on first?? hrmmmm

[Richard in Smithville]

Wait, wait....you forgot those really tight track pants that have writing accross the back. Something like "SEXY".

[Ed62]

I got a kick out of #6. The word is that there is an in-law family member (elderly) who actually wears them.

Ed

[Mrs. Wallnut]

#9 is one for all people I think.....

I work at a convenience store at night and some of the college students or other people that are coming in there I wonder what they are thinking when they get dressed. There are some girls that shouldn't dress with stomach revealing clothing or other areas that get exposed...

[rcp612]

After I quit jogging ( kept spilling my beer ), I took up bicycling..... until the neighbors got an injunction against me wearing Spandex!!

[ironhat]

#9 is one for all people I think.....

I work at a convenience store at night and some of the college students or other people that are coming in there I wonder what they are thinking when they get dressed. There are some girls that shouldn't dress with stomach revealing clothing or other areas that get exposed...

Aren't the kids taught to be proud of what you have and don't worry about being perfect? To my mind I'd rather that they all covered 'it' up so there was no invitation looming.

[kirkroy]

#9, aka, muffintops... This applies to wearing pants that are too tight along with a shirt that's too tight as well.

[gjat]

Wait, wait....you forgot those really tight track pants that have writing accross the back. Something like "SEXY".

I know what you're talking about. The shorty shorts that say SEXY or JUICEY accross the back. The Senior Version has a larger waistband and says "DUSTY" on them.

[OpaDC]

Aren't the kids taught to be proud of what you have and don't worry about being perfect?

Funny thing is, this is a direct result of the anorexic look, except it hasn't gone away either. Never seems to be a happy medium anymore. You should see the people on the beach. Don't these people use mirrors???