Ups

[DUD]

Have seen this before but still funny. Bill



Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.)

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

*Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots(marked with a P)
and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.




~~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last.................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

[Mr__Bill]

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.)

It does make one pause and think, here is one that can be scary... Airplane Flight Patterns over the USA

The site is slow, give it time to load then click for the video

Bill, who is thinking Kayaking is the way to go.

[Richard in Smithville]

Thanks Bill. I've seen this before but being claimed that it was from another airline. Either way, it's still funny.

BTW: Did you hear about UPS and FedX merging? They're going to be "Fed-Up".

[Ed62]

Thanks for the laugh.

Ed

[jhart]

Nice to see a good sense of humor from the mechanics.

[Rand]

>>BTW: Did you hear about UPS and FedX merging? They're going to be "Fed-Up".

Reminded me of this: