My Dog
Everyone who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call mine "Sex".
Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to city hall to get his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said "I'd like to have one too!" Then I said. "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He said "You must have been quite a kid!"
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and one special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night". The clerk said "Me too".
One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand", I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV". He called me a showoff.
When my wife and I divorced, we went to court to file for custody of the dog. I said "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married". The judge said, "Me too." Then, I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said "Me too."
Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came up to me and asked what I was doing in this alley at 4:00 in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex".
My case comes up on Friday!!
Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to city hall to get his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said "I'd like to have one too!" Then I said. "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He said "You must have been quite a kid!"
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and one special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night". The clerk said "Me too".
One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand", I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV". He called me a showoff.
When my wife and I divorced, we went to court to file for custody of the dog. I said "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married". The judge said, "Me too." Then, I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said "Me too."
Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came up to me and asked what I was doing in this alley at 4:00 in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex".
My case comes up on Friday!!
Pat
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