My Resume

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  • DUD
    Veteran Member
    • Dec 2002
    • 3309
    • Jonesboro, Arkansas, USA.
    • Ryobi BT3000

    #1

    My Resume

    Subject: My Resume


    Most of us have had various jobs since leaving the armed forces, whether after one term or due to military retirement. Most of the jobs were unrelated to our military duties or careers.

    Here are the jobs I've had since completing my 4 years in the U S Air Force.



    1. My first job was working in an Orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.


    2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.



    3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it-----mainly because it was a sew-sew job.



    4. Next I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.



    5. Then, I tried to be a Chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.



    6. I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.



    7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found that I wasn't noteworthy.



    8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have the patience.



    9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried, but I just didn't fit in.



    10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.



    11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.



    12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.



    13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian until I realized there was no future in it.



    14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.



    15. SO I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB. Man do I enjoy it!!!!!!
    5 OUT OF 4 PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND FRACTIONS.
  • Ed62
    The Full Monte
    • Oct 2006
    • 6021
    • NW Indiana
    • BT3K

    #2
    Good one, Bill. I'm enjoying #15 too.

    Ed
    Do you know about kickback? Ray has a good writeup here... https://www.sawdustzone.org/articles...mare-explained

    For a kickback demonstration video http://www.metacafe.com/watch/910584...demonstration/

    Comment

    • charliex
      Senior Member
      • Mar 2004
      • 632
      • Spring Valley, MN, USA.
      • Sears equivelent BT3100-1

      #3
      Amen to #15. I don't know why I didn't do it sooner.
      Those are very funny..

      Chas

      Comment

      • L. D. Jeffries
        Senior Member
        • Dec 2005
        • 747
        • Russell, NY, USA.
        • Ryobi BT3000

        #4
        Yes sir're' Only problem I have found is that I can't understand how I ever had time to work for someone else!
        RuffSawn
        Nothin' smells better than fresh sawdust!

        Comment

        • LinuxRandal
          Veteran Member
          • Feb 2005
          • 4890
          • Independence, MO, USA.
          • bt3100

          #5
          I have a friend whose resume shows him working for a cemetary/funeral home, and the IRS. He happily says, he's worked for both Death AND taxes!
          She couldn't tell the difference between the escape pod, and the bathroom. We had to go back for her.........................Twice.

          Comment

          • TB Roye
            Veteran Member
            • Jan 2004
            • 2969
            • Sacramento, CA, USA.
            • BT3100

            #6
            The best decision I made was #15 and it has turned into the best job. Taking care of grandchildern. Helping build scenery at local theater company. Assistant grounds keeper at church ( I get to ride the lawnmower). Member of the board of the West Capital Raceway Alumni Association and fledgling woodworker. Best of all 24/7 husband. I also sleep pretty good at night now.

            Tom

            Comment

            • mater
              Veteran Member
              • Jan 2004
              • 4197
              • SC, USA.

              #7
              Good one Bill and #15 worked for me also.
              Ken aka "mater"

              " People may doubt what you say but they will never doubt what you do "

              Ken's Den

              Comment

              • lrogers
                Veteran Member
                • Dec 2002
                • 3853
                • Mobile, AL. USA.
                • BT3000

                #8
                I can't wait for #15!
                Larry R. Rogers
                The Samurai Wood Butcher
                http://splash54.multiply.com
                http://community.webshots.com/user/splash54

                Comment

                • JeffW
                  Veteran Member
                  • Feb 2003
                  • 1594
                  • San Antonio, Texas, USA.
                  • BT3100

                  #9
                  Originally posted by lrogers
                  I can't wait for #15!
                  Amen to that
                  Measure twice, cut once, screw it up, start over

                  Comment

                  • Whaler
                    Veteran Member
                    • Dec 2002
                    • 3281
                    • Sequim, WA, USA.
                    • DW746

                    #10
                    Great one Bill.
                    Like some of the others #15 is the best thing ever to happen to me.
                    Dick

                    http://www.picasaweb.google.com/rgpete2/

                    Comment

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