When it rains... (harsh content)

[smc331]

My wife and I (and our family) extend our sincere condolences to your wife, but also to you. Prayers on their way...

You've gotten some very good advice here - after the loss of my father to a logging accident this past March, the questions of "why" have run rampant. "Why did this have to happen like this?" - "Why on earth did he do this this way?" - But working through his collected paperwork and "things" has led to a better understanding of the man.

Don't expect it to be easy, for it is not - but time and relying on each other and the family will make it more bearable. You will all cry, but at times you will smile and even laugh in remembrance. That is how you know the healing is progressing - the smiles and laughter of remembering will become more frequent. That doesn't mean the tears will stop - just that they will come with a sharp sweetness rather than pain.

In this process, don't forget to look out for "you" - my wife has been a rock for our family - and sometimes we all forget that she was greatly affected by this as well. Lean on your church family if you have one - ours has been yet another rock to us as a family.

Again, our condolences and prayers for you and yours. PM me if you ever need someone to vent to...

[DonHo]

I'll add my condonlences. I have no advice to add to what has already been offered, other than to say that hard times can bring you and your wife closer if you stick together and lean on one another for support.

May God bless and comfort you and your family,
DonHo

[movnup]

From Seattle, my family and I and offer our condolences ....

In my business I donate time / resources with a number of non-profits as a way to give back to the community and have been actively involved as a un-paid consultant with Youth Suicide Prevention. One of the things I learned about suicide is that it is a very selfish act. There could be numerous rationales for the "why" behind it but one thing to remember is that it is NOT YOUR FAMILY(S) FAULT !!! There are great resources for support on the web and I would encourage you to seek them out and actively use them as the living will always have unaswered questions and run themselves down with " what if's ??? "

I lost my Dad recently and even though it gets a little easier each day I still and will always miss him. As I'm building projects and throwing saw dust around in the shop I get reminders of his wood shop and will wonder ... what would Dad think and am I doing him proud ???? I think he's smiling looking down to see his 4 year old granddaughter with her big ear protection and safety glasses helping her Daddy out in the wood shop.

[thestinker]

My prayers go out to you and your wife. May God be with you during this troubling time. It is also terrible that all this tragedy might now be associated with the building of your home.

[Ed62]

More prayers coming for all touched by this horrible event. Death of a loved one is always very hard. At first, you don't know if you can survive another day. But as times goes by, it will become easier. The time will come when you can laugh at things in the past.

Ed

[LCHIEN]

JB, the good thing about friends is that they will listen and help you relieve some of the feelings pent up inside.

Sometimes there is just no reason for the problems that are heaped upon us. I hope you can get over them and get on with your life. Keep up the faith that things can and will get better.

[cabinetman]

My prayers are with you for your loss. Tragedies in life just happen and there is never a good time. Dealing with them isn't easy either.

My mother had a severe case of cancer and at the age of 16, I found her on my way to high school, she had taken enough medications to finally stop the pain. She left a note explaining everything. It was not an expected event, yet I can understand. But, as in your case, it's not just the loss, it's the memories that we may carry forever.

[Handy Al]

Stay strong as there are prayers of many freinds here supporting you. We're always here.

[jwaterdawg]

Your family is in my prayers. With all the stress and twists that your wife and you are feeling right now, you might consider some type of counseling for your wife and yourself. Many houses of worship offer family/crisis counseling to the public.

As you know, just the act of talking about it with someone can make a huge difference in the ability to cope with it. Our family will be praying for yours.

[billwmeyer]

My prayers are also with you and your family. Things will get better, but it will take time.

You might not have had a feeling that you could tell about to go with your wife, but these things don't happen by accident. You were sent to be where you very much needed to be. Take that as a sign that you are not alone.

If you feel the need to talk, your BT Central family is here to listen.
Bill

[Jaden]

My condolences to both of you on this bad time in your lives. My only advice to you would be to keep doing what you seem to be doing so wonderfully, be there for one another. You both seem to lean on each other for everything from getting through hard times to building your new home, with that type of love you'll get through anything.

And, if you do need a shoulder to lean on for advice, and don't want to unduly burden that lovely wife of yours, you do have all of your freinds here at bt3central to talk to.

Steve

[ironhat]

Words are insufficient but know that you and your wife are covered in prayer and that your loved one is only gone a short while before we will see all of our dear departed. Storms come and go but the light always shines through. I don't meant this to sound trite or sappy. I'm just hoping that the kind words of all your brothers and sisters here give you some measue of peace.
God bless you both,
Chiz

[Jeffrey Schronce]

Stunning is absolutely the correct word.

Please watch your wife carefully and help her anyway you can. You know how tough this is on you, it can only be so much tougher for her.

I know you are not looking for suggestions on coping, but in this case a grief counceler/therapist could be very helpful. This is such a burden that a lot of folks simply couldn't deal with it. Medications may be suggested. Don't be afraid of them. Medications are very much like a cast, they help your body get back right.

I wish you and your family the best during this time. If there is anything we can do always let us know.

[Slik Geek]

If you feel the need to talk, your BT Central family is here to listen.

I'll second that. You'll probably find yourself at times overwhelmed, feeling inadequate in comforting your wife. Don't be afraid to tell us of your struggles. It will help you to express it - and someone here might be able to help in some way.

And as Jeffrey says, "Please watch your wife carefully". Let her have times of grief, but try to keep her engaged in life's activities.

[gad5264]

JB, there is nothing I can say that already has not been said. you are in our prayers and thoughts. Be strong for your wife.