Mind Ramblings

[DUD]

Ramblings of a Retired Mind

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell
phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't
afford one, so, I'm wearing my garage door opener.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that
people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on
beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided - "old age is when you
still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce
it."

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it
"Pumping Rust."

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest
is falling into your drawers!

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh,
have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in
case of an emergency' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot
more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming
for their finals.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

[jackellis]

Good way to start the day.

[jhart]

Brought a good smile.

[Bruce Cohen]

Dud,

That's another keyboard you owe me.

Keep them coming, Your stuff is a great remedy after reading the morining paper.

Bruce

[cabinetman]

Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in
case of an emergency' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"

This story is absolutely true. A friend of mine owned a diner and took an application from a waitress and told me of an entry on the back of the form. There was a line item for a phone number to call in case of emergency... she put 911.

[ironhat]

Used to have a question on our employment applications like this:
"List your six best assets"

Young lady wrote, "My stereo, my car, my clothes..."

I can't remember what the others were but I remeber that she didn't get the job.

Chiz

[DUD]

I've also heard of the application that said sex, someone checked YES. Bill