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  • Anna
    Senior Member
    • Feb 2006
    • 728
    • CA, USA.
    • BT3100

    Dictionary

    I'm almost embarrassed to post this, but, uhm, I thought it's pretty funny. No offense intended.

    DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

    40-ish..................................49.
    Adventurous..........................Slept with everyone.
    Athletic................................No breasts.
    Average looking.....................Moooo.
    Beautiful..............................Pathologica l liar.
    Emotionally Secure..................On medication.
    Feminist...............................Fat.
    Free Spirit.............................Junkie.
    Friendship first.......................Former Slut.
    New-Age..............................Body hair in the wrong places.
    Old-fashioned........................No B.J.'s
    Open-minded.........................Desperate.
    Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.
    Professional...........................B*tch.
    Voluptuous...........................Very fat.
    Large frame..........................Hugely fat.
    Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.

    DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

    Yes.....................................No
    No......................................Yes
    Maybe.................................No
    We need...............................I want

    I am sorry.............................You'll be sorry

    We need to talk......................You're in trouble

    Sure, go ahead........................You better not

    Do what you want...................You will pay for this later

    I am not upset........................Of course, I am upset, you moron!

    You're attentive tonight............Is sex all you ever think about?

    DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
    I am hungry...........................I am hungry

    I am tired..............................I am tired

    Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!
    I love you..............................Let's have sex now

    I am bored.............................Do you want to have sex?
    May I have this dance?..................I'd like to have sex with you.
    Can I call you sometime?..............I'd like to have sex with you.
    Do you want to go to a movie?......I'd like to have sex with you.
  • SHADOWFOX
    Veteran Member
    • May 2005
    • 1232
    • IL, USA.
    • DELTA 36-675

    #2
    Originally posted by Anna
    [I]Sure, go ahead........................You better not
    So that's what my wife meant whenever I asked her if I could buy an item at Woodcraft or Rockler.
    Chris

    "The first key to wisdom is constant and frequent questioning, for by doubting we are led to question and by questioning we arrive at the truth." -Pierre Abelard 11th Century philosopher.

    Comment

    • Anna
      Senior Member
      • Feb 2006
      • 728
      • CA, USA.
      • BT3100

      #3
      Originally posted by SHADOWFOX
      So that's what my wife meant whenever I asked her if I could buy an item at Woodcraft or Rockler.

      If my husband is any indication, isn't it better to just assume she really meant "Go ahead," then plead innocence later on?

      You'd be amazed how much men can get away with because women tend to underestimate the intelligence of the male species.

      Comment

      • Ken Massingale
        Veteran Member
        • Dec 2002
        • 3862
        • Liberty, SC, USA.
        • Ridgid TS3650

        #4
        "You'd be amazed how much men can get away with because women tend to underestimate the intelligence of the male species. "

        Finally! An honest woman. Thanks Anna, you made my morning.

        Comment

        • Pappy
          The Full Monte
          • Dec 2002
          • 10453
          • San Marcos, TX, USA.
          • BT3000 (x2)

          #5
          Originally posted by SHADOWFOX
          So that's what my wife meant whenever I asked her if I could buy an item at Woodcraft or Rockler.
          Just buy what you want. Always easier to beg forgiveness than to get permission!
          Don, aka Pappy,

          Wise men talk because they have something to say,
          Fools because they have to say something.
          Plato

          Comment

          • mater
            Veteran Member
            • Jan 2004
            • 4197
            • SC, USA.

            #6
            Sometimes I am a little slow as I got that " we need to talk " the other day.
            Ken aka "mater"

            " People may doubt what you say but they will never doubt what you do "

            Ken's Den

            Comment

            • crokett
              The Full Monte
              • Jan 2003
              • 10627
              • Mebane, NC, USA.
              • Ryobi BT3000

              #7
              Originally posted by Anna
              If my husband is any indication, isn't it better to just assume she really meant "Go ahead," then plead innocence later on?

              You'd be amazed how much men can get away with because women tend to underestimate the intelligence of the male species.
              My wife has learned to (mostly) say what she means. If she says 'Go Ahead' I just do it, while knowing that is not what she meant. I figure I am already in trouble anyway. Then I just tell her if she didn't want me to do it she should have said so.
              David

              The chief cause of failure in this life is giving up what you want most for what you want at the moment.

              Comment

              • radhak
                Veteran Member
                • Apr 2006
                • 3058
                • Miramar, FL
                • Right Tilt 3HP Unisaw

                #8
                Originally posted by Anna
                You'd be amazed how much men can get away with because women tend to underestimate the intelligence of the male species.
                And how! eg - my wife has this strong feeling i have a bad memory, despite all too many evidences to the contrary. My memory is sharper, longer and 'better organized' than hers, and she has seen examples of it : she looks at a pair of shoes and wonders how she could have ever bought it and i remind her that her (female) boss had taken her along a couple of years ago for a shopping spree and she got 'peer pressured' into it; she mis-places her glasses and i remind her she took it off in the porch; I am even her walking-talking appointment-reminder; despite all that, it has been so easy for me to get away with - 'I forgot' !!!

                She sorta expects it (maybe along the lines of 'these men, so stupid...'), and tells about my 'forgetfulness' to others too, and I ain't complaining

                As for the dictionary itself, makes for a nice code-book :

                "how's your new girl-friend?"

                ..."well, I don't mind that she's a professional, and somewhat of a feminist, but I find that she's quite old-fashioned; I wish she was more open-minded..."
                It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
                - Aristotle

                Comment

                • cabinetman
                  Gone but not Forgotten RIP
                  • Jun 2006
                  • 15218
                  • So. Florida
                  • Delta

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Anna
                  You'd be amazed how much men can get away with because women tend to underestimate the intelligence of the male species.
                  The trick to our marital success is that neither of us EVER underestimates the intelligence of the other. Besides, I always get the last words. And those are: YES DEAR.

                  Comment

                  • JR
                    The Full Monte
                    • Feb 2004
                    • 5633
                    • Eugene, OR
                    • BT3000

                    #10
                    Originally posted by radhak
                    ..."well, I don't mind that she's a professional, and somewhat of a feminist, but I find that she's quite old-fashioned; I wish she was more open-minded..."
                    LOL - too funny!
                    JR

                    Comment

                    • Anna
                      Senior Member
                      • Feb 2006
                      • 728
                      • CA, USA.
                      • BT3100

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Pappy
                      Just buy what you want. Always easier to beg forgiveness than to get permission!

                      Or just buy it anyway, then hide it in the garage, under the truck you've been "repairing" for the last 15 years.

                      My husband is one of the most intelligent people I know, with both a medical and law degree (licensed in CA for both). But he got away with "I forgot" for some time, until I caught on to him. Now he's figured that if he doesn't do it exactly the way I like it, I'll go in and re-do it anyway, and that eventually I stop asking him to do the same thing again (e.g. loading/unloading the dishwasher, doing the laundry, mowing the lawn (yep, even that one) etc). I really haven't thought of a countermove yet.

                      But when I get really annoyed, he goes ahead and buys me a new tool or gadget. So... win-win?

                      Comment

                      • Ed62
                        The Full Monte
                        • Oct 2006
                        • 6022
                        • NW Indiana
                        • BT3K

                        #12
                        This was a good thread, and there's a lot of truth to some of that dictionary.

                        Ed
                        Do you know about kickback? Ray has a good writeup here... https://www.sawdustzone.org/articles...mare-explained

                        For a kickback demonstration video http://www.metacafe.com/watch/910584...demonstration/

                        Comment

                        • crokett
                          The Full Monte
                          • Jan 2003
                          • 10627
                          • Mebane, NC, USA.
                          • Ryobi BT3000

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Anna
                          Now he's figured that if he doesn't do it exactly the way I like it, I'll go in and re-do it anyway, and that eventually I stop asking him to do the same thing again
                          The only countermove is to accept that he will do it, just not quite the way you want it done. My wife and I will be married 4 years this summer. It has taken most of that time for her to accept that I will do stuff, but not exactly the way she wants since I am not her. So either I do it, or she does it but she is not allowed to complain if she either redoes it or does it since she doesn't like the way I do things.
                          David

                          The chief cause of failure in this life is giving up what you want most for what you want at the moment.

                          Comment

                          • LCHIEN
                            Internet Fact Checker
                            • Dec 2002
                            • 20914
                            • Katy, TX, USA.
                            • BT3000 vintage 1999

                            #14
                            After 30 yrs of marriage, I'm still asked to do things, and while I'm doing them, I get told I'm not doing it right.
                            Loring in Katy, TX USA
                            If your only tool is a hammer, you tend to treat all problems as if they were nails.
                            BT3 FAQ - https://www.sawdustzone.org/forum/di...sked-questions

                            Comment

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