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13 Smiles For You
I hope You like this one. Bill
13 Smiles For You
1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
4. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
5. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true
friend will be sitting next to you saying, "****...that was fun!"
6. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
7. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
8. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell
the difference.
9. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could
simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
10. Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they
can in prison?
11. Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but
FAT cells live forever.
12. Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the
Ten Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?
13 Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a
teacher.and since it's in English, thank a soldier."
13 Smiles For You
1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
4. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
5. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true
friend will be sitting next to you saying, "****...that was fun!"
6. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
7. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
8. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell
the difference.
9. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could
simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
10. Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they
can in prison?
11. Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but
FAT cells live forever.
12. Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the
Ten Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?
13 Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a
teacher.and since it's in English, thank a soldier."
Pretty good. I could have used #9 a time or two. 
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