The Purina Diet
I liked to have busted a gut. Bill
IF THIS DOESN'T MAKE YOU LAUGH, NOTHING WILL.................
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina
for Lola and was in line to check out. A woman
behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I
told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up
in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her
head.
I went on and on with the bogus diet story and
she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an
easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is
to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets
and simply eat one or two every time you feel
hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically
everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my
story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog
food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in
the hospital.
I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street
licking my butt when a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be
carried out the door.
IF THIS DOESN'T MAKE YOU LAUGH, NOTHING WILL.................
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina
for Lola and was in line to check out. A woman
behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I
told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up
in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her
head.
I went on and on with the bogus diet story and
she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an
easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is
to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets
and simply eat one or two every time you feel
hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically
everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my
story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog
food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in
the hospital.
I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street
licking my butt when a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be
carried out the door.
I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read that one!
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