Need advice

[JBCrooks]

Wheew....this is a tough one, guys. I need some advice and I know there are alot of wise (wisea$$?) guys hanging out on here.

The background:
My wife's sister has twin sons. Both in the army, both in special forces. Late last year, one was hit by an ambush and permanently lost hearing in one ear. He's just fine other than that, and he's back home now. The other son was sent to Iraq in Sept.

Tonight my wife's sister came to visit us for the first time since Sept. She has lost over 70lbs. I could see the chick's skull and she walked like she was about to snap apart. She claims she is enormously fat, that her son is not coming home from Iraq alive, and that its all her fault.

So....what in the world can you do to help someone like that? Ordinarily I think a person should be able to kill themself if they wish, but that kid in Iraq deserves better than to come home to see his mom like that. And its tearing my wife up.

[MilDoc]

You need professional psychiatric help, and soon. Family support is vital, but in a supportive and never any other way. Working at a military clinic I've seen wives, mothers, husbands, and children go through similar dire straits, and the state of denial is very strong. Get help. If you live near a military post start there. If not, call your local mental health association. My prayers are with you and yours.

[Thom2]

I'm with Paul on this, a professional is definately going to need to be involved. I wouldn't waste any time either, try and talk to her and express your concern, it's not easy but needs to be done. I would still think that you and your wife need to consult with a professional as well to see what you can do to be supportive and help her through this. You'll most likely end up seeing the professional anyway because she most likely doesn't realize that she has a problem and you'll need assistance in how to confront her head-on. I don't envy you, this is going to be a tough time for awhile.

Above all else tho', GET HELP!!!!!

[crokett]

What does your wife think? You need to talk to your wife first and get her agreeing with you before you approach your SIL.

[JR]

Get help. You can not try to take responsibility for bringing her out of this. It's her fear of your judgment she's worried about, so a professional is needed to deal with the hard truths.

Good Luck,
JR

[LCHIEN]

she has a son home? Somehow he should be in the picture, too.