Inner Peace

[DUD]

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use a little more calmness in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on the Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve Inner Peace is to finish all the things you've started and have yet to finish."

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel now.

Please pass this on to those you feel might be in need of inner peace
Have a great day! Bill

[linear]

You had me at Merlot.

[TB Roye]

That would work for me

Tom

[cabinetman]

Bill

I agree, that does work. Thinking of moving the PC to the kitchen. BTW, was that New York style cheesecake? We can thank Dr. Phil - up.



"I'M NEVER WRONG - BUT I'M NOT ALWAYS RIGHT"

[WoodButcher26]

wow. what a concept... i'm feelin' better already...

[Ken Weaver]

Oh yeah! Works for me!

[Mrs. Wallnut]

Dud I couldn't stop laughing long enough to even tell Mark about this one. He is going to have to read it himself

[heartwood]

I here-by nominate this gentleman for the Nobel Peace Prize!

[Brian in Dawson Creek]

The Nobel Peace Prize has been taken

I here-by nominate this gentleman for the Nobel Peace Prize!

Zebediah was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.
Zeb kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform well went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Zeb's time; so, Zeb got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone so that Zeb could tell, from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill
out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.
Zeb's favorite rooster was old Brewster. [Brewster the rooster?] A very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning, Zeb noticed that Brewster's bell had not rung at all!!
Zeb went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing! The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
BUT, to Zeb's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
Zeb was so proud of Brewster that he entered him in the county fair.
Brewster was the hit of the fair. An overnight sensation!
The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Piece Prize but also the Pulletsurprise!

Brian

[Jeff]

Maker's Mark, Here I come!