Hospital Chart Remarks

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  • tuttlejr
    Established Member
    • Aug 2003
    • 440
    • LAKEWAY, TX, USA.

    #1

    Hospital Chart Remarks

    HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS. These are actual writings from various hospital charts.

    1. The patient refused an autopsy.
    2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
    3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
    4. She has no rigors of shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
    5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
    6. On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
    7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
    8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
    9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
    10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
    11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
    12. She is numb from her toes down.
    13. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home.
    14. The skin was moist and dry.
    15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
    16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
    17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
    18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
    19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
    20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
    21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
    22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
    23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
    24. The pelvis exam will be done later on the floor.
    25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
    Bob Tuttle
  • Russianwolf
    Veteran Member
    • Jan 2004
    • 3152
    • Martinsburg, WV, USA.
    • One of them there Toy saws

    #2
    can I get the name of number 17, gotta make sure I don't go there.
    Mike
    Lakota's Dad

    If at first you don't succeed, deny you were trying in the first place.

    Comment

    • DUD
      Veteran Member
      • Dec 2002
      • 3309
      • Jonesboro, Arkansas, USA.
      • Ryobi BT3000

      #3
      I know some of those people who wrote that. Bill
      5 OUT OF 4 PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND FRACTIONS.

      Comment

      • Pappy
        The Full Monte
        • Dec 2002
        • 10463
        • San Marcos, TX, USA.
        • BT3000 (x2)

        #4
        MIL was a labor and delivery nurse. Doctor she knew wrote on newborn notes that the 'kid has FLK'. First time she saw it, it looked important so she transposed it to the chart in red. Then found out it means Funny Looking Kid.
        Don, aka Pappy,

        Wise men talk because they have something to say,
        Fools because they have to say something.
        Plato

        Comment

        • LinuxRandal
          Veteran Member
          • Feb 2005
          • 4890
          • Independence, MO, USA.
          • bt3100

          #5
          Originally posted by Pappy
          MIL was a labor and delivery nurse. Doctor she knew wrote on newborn notes that the 'kid has FLK'. First time she saw it, it looked important so she transposed it to the chart in red. Then found out it means Funny Looking Kid.

          Sounds like when busy doctors prescribe their nurses give troublemakers FLT, eh Germdoc?


          FLT = Florescent light therapy.
          She couldn't tell the difference between the escape pod, and the bathroom. We had to go back for her.........................Twice.

          Comment

          • germdoc
            Veteran Member
            • Nov 2003
            • 3567
            • Omaha, NE
            • BT3000--the gray ghost

            #6
            One of my favorites was a nurse entry which read, "Patient was feeling retched and was retching continuously." I can see why.

            Also, I have learned over the years always to describe drainage from an infection as "purulent" or "pus-like", not "pu$$y". It leads to fewer misunderstandings.

            Classic story: gruff attending doc reviews patient history with young intern and write one word in chart: "Crock". The next day, after the intern has ordered the appropriate test that indicates the patient has an inflamed gallbladder with gallstones, the attending writes in the chart "Crock, with stones."
            Jeff


            “Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing”--Voltaire

            Comment

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