Laws of Real Life
Subject: Laws of real life
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch
or
you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. The
smaller the tool, the more inassessible.
Law of probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the
stupidity
of the act.
Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss a flat tire made you late for work, the very next
morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start
to
move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)
Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with
someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Theater Rule:
At any event, people with seats furthest from the aisle, arrive last.
Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you
to do
something that lasts until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent
lockers.
Law of Location:
Wherever you go, There you are!
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.
Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product you really like, they will stop making
it. Or
parts to keep it working.
Bill
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch
or
you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. The
smaller the tool, the more inassessible.
Law of probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the
stupidity
of the act.
Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss a flat tire made you late for work, the very next
morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start
to
move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)
Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with
someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Theater Rule:
At any event, people with seats furthest from the aisle, arrive last.
Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you
to do
something that lasts until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent
lockers.
Law of Location:
Wherever you go, There you are!
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.
Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product you really like, they will stop making
it. Or
parts to keep it working.
Bill
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