Plumbing Karma

[JR]

I have serious issues to discuss. Today I did a float valve replacement in a toilet. It went flawlessly. Now I'm confused.

The Laws of Plumbing are clearly governed by a supernatural power. The mechanics are pretty straightforward, but successfully completing a plumbing project is obviously controlled an entity greater than I. This saint, who watches over the plumbing world, knows if you've been naughty or nice. Your project, no matter how large or small, will consume your time at the discretion of this minor god. I'm sure these things are self-evident to everyone here.

Now, I was raised a Catholic, but as a long-time California resident I must believe in karma. It's the law. I'm not really a spiritual man, so coming to grips with the reality of St. Bubba of Plumbing has been difficult enough. My spiritual experiences up to now haven't prepared me for my dilemma. Now that I've reached this state of grace, which is acceptance of St. Bubba and his power over the fluid world, I'm confused about how to appease Him.

Here are my questions:

1. Am I expected to pray for the success of my project? I don't want to appear selfish, is it more appropriate to pray for the fluid world at large? Which prayers are usually said? Or is it a mantra?
2. Should I pray before starting my project, reflecting my submission to St. Bubba's will? Or should wait until after, in thanks for his beneficient teaching?
3. Are offerings expected? Are they part of my receipt at Home Depot?
4. Can plumbing karma be saved, like a bank account? Does this morning's project, having gone perfectly, debit the account? How much karma did I earn in my month-of-Sundays nothing-seemed-to-work triple-replacement-of-impossible-to-troubleshoot sprinkler-valve project earn?
5. Is profanity, which flowed so freely during the sprinkler-valve project, the word of St. Bubba, somehow channeled through me? Have I become some sort of Acolyte of Plumbing? Should I wear my coveralls all the time, or only during plumbing projects?

You can see I need help.

TIA,
JR

[eccentrictinkerer]

As an agnostic, I can't speak to the prayer/karma aspect, but obviously something is terribly wrong here.

You said the the project went flawlessly. No home repair can be considered successful until you've been to the hardware/home store at least twice.

You've clearly done something wrong here. There may be a tiny leak at the shutoff valve that causes an extremely fine, almost invisible, stream of water to be directed at the toilet base that makes you believe the toilet is leaking. DAMHIKT

Or there is part that is installed backwards that won't be apparent until three days into your next vacation in Hawaii.

I admit it. I'm jealous. I'm a handyman specializing in very old homes and my success rate is very high, thank God (whoever she may be). But, successful one-trip home repairs are very rare for me, in my own home.

Congratulations on your success!

[JR]

Congratulations on your success!

Thank you, Brother. (That's how I'm going to address everyone from now on.)

Clearly, you can relate to my fear and wonder. It's as if there is some band of light surrounding me. No, that's not it. It's more of sweet-smelling plumbing cocoon, in which I simiply apply my tool to the task and it is done.

I guess I must be feeling as those guys who get kidnapped by UFOs feel.

JR

[Hellrazor]

All it means is one thing:


Murphy was busy elsewhere...

[gugie]

Brother JR,

Get thee to Vegas, and double down at the Church of Blackjack. Clearly you're on a roll.

[JR]

Get thee to Vegas, and double down at the Church of Blackjack.

Thanks for the advice, Brother. I'll have to see how Sister LOML feels about that!

JR

[Salty]

Now you've gone and done it.........
Now Bubba knows....he know everything....he has seen this post....

Just keep an eye on that project for a while.

I know what you mean though. There have been many times that I was awakened by the horrible feeling that that plumbing or electrical job I did last night or last week is going to go kaphlewy!

Salty

[JimD]

I have five toilets (may not have been the wisest decision I ever made). They never break during the day on a weekend. As a consequence, I have a pile of parts in the basement. I do not mind replacing the float mechanism (I use the inline kind) or the flapper or the supply hose, or the washers but I do not want to go the store at 10pm to get the parts. If I avoid the loud "bad words", I figure I did OK.

Jim

[Crash2510]

be careful you are not out of the woods yet

I came back from vacation and the tank to bowl seal had gone bad and was leaking.

no problem i replaced it

2 days later woke up in the middle of the night to water overflowing from the tank ( float had gone bad)

so you see it is only a matter of time

[Tom Slick]

Plumbing gloats should not be allowed.

It may be a sign of a higher calling...

how much plumber's crack was showing, it does have an effect. showing none will surely cause bad plumbing luck.

[gsmittle]

Here are my questions:

1. Am I expected to pray for the success of my project? I don't want to appear selfish, is it more appropriate to pray for the fluid world at large? Which prayers are usually said? Or is it a mantra?
2. Should I pray before starting my project, reflecting my submission to St. Bubba's will? Or should wait until after, in thanks for his beneficient teaching?
3. Are offerings expected? Are they part of my receipt at Home Depot?
4. Can plumbing karma be saved, like a bank account? Does this morning's project, having gone perfectly, debit the account? How much karma did I earn in my month-of-Sundays nothing-seemed-to-work triple-replacement-of-impossible-to-troubleshoot sprinkler-valve project earn?
5. Is profanity, which flowed so freely during the sprinkler-valve project, the word of St. Bubba, somehow channeled through me? Have I become some sort of Acolyte of Plumbing? Should I wear my coveralls all the time, or only during plumbing projects?

You can see I need help.

TIA,
JR

1. Yes. Proper form is: "St. Bubba, I sure hope I don't screw this up..."

2. You should say a Novena before, during, and after the project.

3. Offerings are included in your receipt, but only on the second trip.

4. Karma is not banked, but it can be squandered.

5. Profanity is indeed the unadulterated word of St. Bubba. You know you are channeling St. Bubba when you invent new words or phrases. Do not wear coveralls for plumbing. You must show the ritual plumber's butt cleavage during the entire project, including trips to the hardware store.

No need to thank me...

g.

[JR]

Plumbing gloats should not be allowed.

Oh, this is no gloat, Brother. I don't pretend to understand the mysteries involved here, but I am humble. I know that any plumber who is too full of himself runs the risk of mighty retribution.

There are some plumbing fates I definitely want to avoid. Basically, anything that involves drain pipes, for instance.

Pray with me now.

JR

[JR]

No need to thank me...

Bless you, Brother.

[Tom Slick]

Next you are going to claim that you soldered copper pipe and it didn't leak on your first try.

remember that plumber's crack is one of your signs of devotion to the Great Plumber, much like a robe, special hat, washing your hands, crossing yourself, genuflecting...

I will burn a ceremonial propane torch for you and allow the solder fumes to rise.

[JR]

I will burn a ceremonial propane torch for you and allow the solder fumes to rise.

That's just the kind of guidance I was looking for!

JR