Just Got To Vent!

[Richard in Smithville]

I have to get this out of my head and this is the first and best place I could think of. If you don't want to hear about my personal issues, by all means click out of this post right now. I fully understand. There's enough crap going on with out listening to my *****ing.

My sister met up with an old flame of hers from 30 years ago. Long story short, they hit it off again, bought a house together and set as a happy family. He's a long haul truck driver so he was only home when he was passing through the area, and that would generally be only a night or two.

Things were great, my sister was happy, and everything was rosy. Then it changed. When he was home, my niece couldn't have her friends over. My nephews infant daughter made too much noise when they visited. My sister couldn't even go out to her small workshop( she makes soaps) for too long with out getting yelled at.

About six weeks ago, he had a massive heart attack on the road and needed quadruple bypass surgery. This was around 2000 miles from here. My sister flew out there and brought him home once he was well enough. Then the trouble really started. I just found out that he has since hit her a few times and threatened to " make her disappear". I was ready to go over and give him a good thumping but my wife wouldn't let me get myself in trouble. We called the police, but they said that because of his recent surgery, if my sister wanted rid of him, she would have to be the one to leave! After talking to the police about their history( he said she was abusing him-he's over six foot and she's about five foot), and the police listening to him rant on, they thought it best to find him a half way house where he can be looked after by a staff.

So now I will be changing all the locks and beefing up the doors and windows with extra locks and chains. He has her very scared. I'm working on getting my sister moved closer to me. We have a place for her but she can't move in until end of May. The next two months will be tense to say the least. The police have her name flagged as a priority incase she calls ( if he shows up at the house). I have her calling her lawyer on tuesday. The for sale sign is also going up.

If you've been with me this long, thanks for letting me unload. It's hard to be the head of the family, when everyone calls on you to look after things. I want to go into the shop to unwind but I think I'm to distracted to do that even. It's a beautiful sunny day so perhaps I'll just go out for a walk. Thank you again friends. This helps clear my mind a little.

[JSUPreston]

Hate to hear about the family issues. Being the black sheep of mine keeps me out of a lot of stuff, which is really good for me.

In times like this, for me, I will go out to the shop if I am able. When I do, I get a scrap of 2x4 and a bucket of really crappy nails that I keep, and I beat nails into the board. Doesn't fix anything, but at least I get out some of my built up anger and aggression, I don't hurt anyone, and I haven't wasted my "good" materials. Then, I might clean up for a while, but I do not turn on any tools other than a shop vac. I don't want to do anything stupid when I'm distracted.

No problem venting here...you've got lots of folks that will "listen" and encourage you. Hoping that things start looking up for your sister soon.

[sweensdv]

I hate it at times like that where basically the police have their hands tied and can't do a thing. Although, if he did hit your sister that should have been enough to at least get a restraining order. I will keep you and your sister in my prayers and hopefully the next 2 months will fly by.

[tommyt654]

Ditto,Whats that ole sayin,"You can pick your friends,but you can't pick your family"

[cwsmith]

Richard,

I'm very sorry to hear that your sister is having such problems. Hopefully she will have a protection order in place, and if not, she should contact the police or the DA's office to get that issued.

You didn't mention whether any charges were brought against this guy, but certainly that should have happened.

Domestic violence and/or the threat of it is a very terrible thing. You sister doesn't have to take being hit or threatened, and I think her getting out of that house and as close to you as possible is of utmost importance. But understand, that it may not be a total solution.

Personally, I think this guy needs some serious help, but you need to realize that your direct contact with him (a "thumping" as you put it) would definitely put you in jeapardy with the police. Above all, it is your sister that needs the protection, and she should seek a protection order as well as a secure place to live. She should also be filing charges against this fool, otherwise his bullying will go unchecked, IMO.

I'll pray that this all works out for her.

CWS

[Cochese]

Can't tell the bad eggs from the good until they start to stink. Here's hoping things calm down and settles down.

[RAFlorida]

Richard, wish there was something we could do for

your sister and you. I know how you feel because one of my daughters was involved in an abusive relationship. After she wised up, she left him and the law, for once, sided with her.
What ever you do, try to use the law to help her out. If you were to get physical with him, after his surgery and all, you would be in a heap of trouble.
But for sure, it's not a bad thing to vent here on the forum. There are some that will listen and possibly give you some good advice. Hope that your sister can get rid of this piece of snake crap...

[ironhat]

Prayers up for you, your sister and your family. And, though it may sound to say, for this man as well. That he may find the demons that continue to haunt him and that he may not hurt anyone.

[Richard in Smithville]

Thanks for the positive thoughts friends. Things are looking a little brighter today. I feel like I can get back into the shop with out a follow-up to the ER today(LOL)

[chopnhack]

Of course prayers and thoughts for you and your family, but please be careful if you do decide to use the shop for diversion!