Letter from farm kid in Army

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • alpha
    Established Member
    • Dec 2003
    • 352
    • Owensboro, KY, USA.

    #1

    Letter from farm kid in Army

    FARM KID in the ARMY

    Dear Ma and Pa,


    I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army
    beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick
    before all of the places are filled.


    I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6
    a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all
    you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No
    hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay.
    Practically nothing.


    Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is
    strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but
    kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and
    other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the
    two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you
    until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't
    walk much.


    We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long
    walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him
    different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home.
    Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.


    The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is
    like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown.
    They don't bother you none.


    This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals
    for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a
    chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the
    Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable
    and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges They come in boxes.


    Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to
    wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they
    break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm
    about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in
    Silver Lake. I only beat him once.. He joined up the same time as me,
    but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.


    Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers
    get onto this setup and come stampeding in.


    Your loving daughter,


    Alice.
  • charliex
    Senior Member
    • Mar 2004
    • 632
    • Spring Valley, MN, USA.
    • Sears equivelent BT3100-1

    #2
    That was funny til the end then it became hilarious. Thanks for posting.

    Comment

    • cork58
      Established Member
      • Jan 2006
      • 365
      • Wasilla, AK, USA.
      • BT3000

      #3
      I'm still in tears, that is great!
      Cork,

      Dare to dream and dare to fail.

      Comment

      • gsmittle
        Veteran Member
        • Aug 2004
        • 2790
        • St. Louis, MO, USA.
        • BT 3100

        #4


        Reminds me of an old Beverly Hillbillies episode when Jethro was going to join the Army. The recruiter told Jed they'd give him three square meals a day and make a fighting man of Jethro.

        Jed said, "If he only gets three meals a day he WILL be a fightin' man."

        g.
        Smit

        "Be excellent to each other."
        Bill & Ted

        Comment

        • cabinetman
          Gone but not Forgotten RIP
          • Jun 2006
          • 15216
          • So. Florida
          • Delta

          #5
          That's a good one. I've met a few Alice's.

          .

          Comment

          • RAFlorida
            Veteran Member
            • Apr 2008
            • 1179
            • Green Swamp in Central Florida. Gator property!
            • Ryobi BT3000

            #6
            Now THAT made my day!

            When I got to "...daughter...", lmao...

            Comment

            Working...