A Tale of Two Coyotes

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  • Pappy
    The Full Monte
    • Dec 2002
    • 10490
    • San Marcos, TX, USA.
    • BT3000 (x2)

    #1

    A Tale of Two Coyotes

    Please take this for the humor it is intended to be....

    CALIFORNIA

    The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.
    A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.


    1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

    2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

    3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

    4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

    5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

    6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "Coyote Awareness Program" for residents of the area.

    7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

    8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

    9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.



    TEXAS :

    The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.


    1.The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging at a cost to taxpayers of $0.50 for a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

    2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

    And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not…
    Don, aka Pappy,

    Wise men talk because they have something to say,
    Fools because they have to say something.
    Plato
  • TB Roye
    Veteran Member
    • Jan 2004
    • 2969
    • Sacramento, CA, USA.
    • BT3100

    #2
    Sounds about right for California. We would first have to go through the Assembly and Senate then a Proposition on the ballot, then a law suit depending on who won or lost which would go to the State supreme court who would rule against the wining side and we would start all over again. Total cost 3.2 Billion + the cost of establishing a Mountain Lion's Union. That how califiornia works. We do loose a few pest to Mountain Lions every year, why because we have moved into their environment. Pappy California is a funny and entertaining place to live it just cost alot to enjoy it. Now we are going to get high speed rail. From San Francisco to Bakersfield. Better known as the train to nowhere. No offence to the residents of Bakersfield, have some friends down there.

    Tom
    Last edited by TB Roye; 07-07-2012, 09:20 AM.

    Comment

    • cabinetman
      Gone but not Forgotten RIP
      • Jun 2006
      • 15216
      • So. Florida
      • Delta

      #3
      It's sad when the dog doesn't make it.

      .

      Comment

      • Richard in Smithville
        Veteran Member
        • Oct 2006
        • 3014
        • On the TARDIS
        • BT 3100

        #4
        In S. Ontario, we tear down animal habitats and build our own homes there. When the animals start attacking our pets, we hunt them down and kill them because they are invading our living spaces!
        From the "deep south" part of Canada

        Richard in Smithville

        http://richardspensandthings.blogspot.com/

        Comment

        • phrog
          Veteran Member
          • Jul 2005
          • 1796
          • Chattanooga, TN, USA.

          #5
          In Tennessee - What's a coyote? Is that the critter we put BBQ sauce on?
          Richard

          Comment

          • gsmittle
            Veteran Member
            • Aug 2004
            • 2793
            • St. Louis, MO, USA.
            • BT 3100

            #6
            Originally posted by phrog
            In Tennessee - What's a coyote? Is that the critter we put BBQ sauce on?
            Nah, that's an armadillo. Possum on the half shell.

            g.
            Smit

            "Be excellent to each other."
            Bill & Ted

            Comment

            • Pappy
              The Full Monte
              • Dec 2002
              • 10490
              • San Marcos, TX, USA.
              • BT3000 (x2)

              #7
              Originally posted by TB Roye
              Now we are going to get high speed rail. From San Francisco to Bakersfield. Better known as the train to nowhere. No offence to the residents of Bakersfield, have some friends down there.

              Tom
              I can understand people wanting to leave San Francisco but, for the life of me, I don't know why anyone would want to go to Bakersfield.....

              (Actually, San Francisco is a beatiful city.)
              Don, aka Pappy,

              Wise men talk because they have something to say,
              Fools because they have to say something.
              Plato

              Comment

              • TB Roye
                Veteran Member
                • Jan 2004
                • 2969
                • Sacramento, CA, USA.
                • BT3100

                #8
                That is where the train to nowhere is going. Some day it is supposed to endup in LA, not in my life time. SF is a beautiful but I don'g go there any more to expensive and to many local rules. Seattle has better Seafood.

                Comment

                • phrog
                  Veteran Member
                  • Jul 2005
                  • 1796
                  • Chattanooga, TN, USA.

                  #9
                  Originally posted by gsmittle
                  Nah, that's an armadillo. Possum on the half shell.

                  g.

                  gsmittle, you owe me a cup of coffee and a new computer monitor.
                  Richard

                  Comment

                  • phrog
                    Veteran Member
                    • Jul 2005
                    • 1796
                    • Chattanooga, TN, USA.

                    #10
                    Originally posted by TB Roye
                    That is where the train to nowhere is going. Some day it is supposed to endup in LA, not in my life time. SF is a beautiful but I don'g go there any more to expensive and to many local rules. Seattle has better Seafood.
                    What restaurant in Seattle do you recommend for seafood?
                    Richard

                    Comment

                    • gsmittle
                      Veteran Member
                      • Aug 2004
                      • 2793
                      • St. Louis, MO, USA.
                      • BT 3100

                      #11
                      Originally posted by phrog
                      gsmittle, you owe me a cup of coffee and a new computer monitor.
                      OK. Put it in my tab.

                      g.
                      Smit

                      "Be excellent to each other."
                      Bill & Ted

                      Comment

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