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LOL! True story from a fellow doc
1). 86 year old woman, long time patient of the practice where I've been helping out for a colleague who is post surgery. First time that I've seen the patient, here for follow up on pelvic fracture. I was wrapping up and disucssing the problem with the patient when she says "Doctor, I'm never coming back here."
I stopped in my tracks! What could I have possibly done to insult this woman enough for her to suddenly leave the practice after coming for years? "Ma'am, what have I done that offended you?"
Pt:"Nothing. It's too expensive for me to come here any more."
Me:"But ma'am, your injury and care is covered by Medicare, it shouldn't cost you a thing."
Pt:"It's still too expense, I'm going somewhere else for my healthcare."
Me:"Ma'am, where are you planning on going to?"
Pt:"I'm going to the airport to get my care."
Me: (I'm thinking: Oh, jeez, what an idiot I am, I completely missed the signs of dementia during the exam. Now I better get a handle on how far out of it she is.) "Ma'am, I don't understand what kind of healthcare you think you'll get at the airport."
Pt: (looks me square in the eye)"Well when I need a chest X-ray I can go and get it for free, and they'll give me a breast exam too. And if I say the words "Al Queda" I can get a free colonoscopy as well!"
Me: (Now noticing the obvious glee in her voice and with a twinkle in her eye) I dropped my head and wondered which one of us was the demented one! She was so proud of herself for leading this new physician in the practice down the path and off the cliff! She left the office with one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen on a patient!
2). Long time friend of mine whose career had kept him moving came back into the area. He knew me well before medical school. He asked if he could see me as his physician. He is in his 50's and wanted to get a full exam. I told him I had no problem as his physician or doing the exam but would he be upset about the prostate exam.
Pt:"What do you have to do?"
Me:"You know a prostate exam?"
Pt:"I don't think I've ever had one. What's it involve?"
Me:"What, you mean no one has ever done a prostate exam on you?"
Pt:"I don't know, what do you have to do?" Apparently in all the moving he never really established with a practice/physician.
Me:"Your prostate is at the base of the rectum. I have to stick my finger up your ass to feel it. Is that going to be a problem?"
Pt:"Nope, just as long as I don't have to return the favor."
Me: Took me 5 minutes to stop laughing. When I finally did the DRE found that he has the hairiest ass in the world - looked like a sheep dog's butt- just made me laugh even more!
Who says medicine can't sometimes be fun!
I stopped in my tracks! What could I have possibly done to insult this woman enough for her to suddenly leave the practice after coming for years? "Ma'am, what have I done that offended you?"
Pt:"Nothing. It's too expensive for me to come here any more."
Me:"But ma'am, your injury and care is covered by Medicare, it shouldn't cost you a thing."
Pt:"It's still too expense, I'm going somewhere else for my healthcare."
Me:"Ma'am, where are you planning on going to?"
Pt:"I'm going to the airport to get my care."
Me: (I'm thinking: Oh, jeez, what an idiot I am, I completely missed the signs of dementia during the exam. Now I better get a handle on how far out of it she is.) "Ma'am, I don't understand what kind of healthcare you think you'll get at the airport."
Pt: (looks me square in the eye)"Well when I need a chest X-ray I can go and get it for free, and they'll give me a breast exam too. And if I say the words "Al Queda" I can get a free colonoscopy as well!"
Me: (Now noticing the obvious glee in her voice and with a twinkle in her eye) I dropped my head and wondered which one of us was the demented one! She was so proud of herself for leading this new physician in the practice down the path and off the cliff! She left the office with one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen on a patient!
2). Long time friend of mine whose career had kept him moving came back into the area. He knew me well before medical school. He asked if he could see me as his physician. He is in his 50's and wanted to get a full exam. I told him I had no problem as his physician or doing the exam but would he be upset about the prostate exam.
Pt:"What do you have to do?"
Me:"You know a prostate exam?"
Pt:"I don't think I've ever had one. What's it involve?"
Me:"What, you mean no one has ever done a prostate exam on you?"
Pt:"I don't know, what do you have to do?" Apparently in all the moving he never really established with a practice/physician.
Me:"Your prostate is at the base of the rectum. I have to stick my finger up your ass to feel it. Is that going to be a problem?"
Pt:"Nope, just as long as I don't have to return the favor."
Me: Took me 5 minutes to stop laughing. When I finally did the DRE found that he has the hairiest ass in the world - looked like a sheep dog's butt- just made me laugh even more!
Who says medicine can't sometimes be fun!
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