The Break-in

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Bruce Cohen
    Veteran Member
    • May 2003
    • 2698
    • Nanuet, NY, USA.
    • BT3100

    #1

    The Break-in

    I found this on Brownell's (the gun parts web site) and thought you all might like it.

    A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, "Jesus knows you’re here."
    He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."
    Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
    "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.
    "Yep", the parrot confessed, and then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you."
    The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"
    "Moses," replied the bird.
    "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"
    "The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."




    Bruce
    "Western civilization didn't make all men equal,
    Samuel Colt did"
  • cabinetman
    Gone but not Forgotten RIP
    • Jun 2006
    • 15216
    • So. Florida
    • Delta

    #2
    Yo Bruce,

    You got way too much time on your hands.
    .

    Comment

    • Bruce Cohen
      Veteran Member
      • May 2003
      • 2698
      • Nanuet, NY, USA.
      • BT3100

      #3
      Originally posted by cabinetman
      Yo Bruce,

      You got way too much time on your hands.
      .
      Well, considering we have almost 30" of snow (and no wise cracks about Fla) here, for once, I just got to agree with you.

      Beats cleaning off cars or shoveling the stuff.

      Bruce
      "Western civilization didn't make all men equal,
      Samuel Colt did"

      Comment

      • cabinetman
        Gone but not Forgotten RIP
        • Jun 2006
        • 15216
        • So. Florida
        • Delta

        #4
        Originally posted by Bruce Cohen
        Well, considering we have almost 30" of snow (and no wise cracks about Fla) here, for once, I just got to agree with you.

        Beats cleaning off cars or shoveling the stuff.

        Bruce

        Turn on the heat and make some sawdust. I forgot to comment on your joke. I have seen that one before, but it's one of the classic funny pet jokes in my book. We have two large German Shepherds that are our EWS (early warning system). No way will they stay patient enough to let someone in...no less out.

        A standing joke around here is we have a sign outside that says "Protected By Brinks". When someone rings our bell, we open the door and introduce the bigger dog by saying "Meet Brinks".
        .

        Comment

        • Mowgli
          Forum Newbie
          • Jan 2010
          • 89
          • 35 Miles From Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg
          • BT3000 - NIB from 10/92!

          #5
          What's brown & black and looks great on a lawyer?



          A Doberman Pinscher
          "I'm quite illiterate, but I read a lot" - Holden Caulfield

          Comment

          • Mowgli
            Forum Newbie
            • Jan 2010
            • 89
            • 35 Miles From Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg
            • BT3000 - NIB from 10/92!

            #6
            from The Pink Panther Strikes Again

            Clouseau: I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!!

            Old Man: That is not my dog
            "I'm quite illiterate, but I read a lot" - Holden Caulfield

            Comment

            Working...