My Wife's Cooking

[Woodwerker]

My wife is not a very good cook. One night after dinner she told me to take out the trash. I said you cooked it you take it out.


Last summer her cooking was so bad the flies got some money together and fixed the screen door.


We have woods behind our house were a skunk lives. Last week she cooked something so bad I threw the leftovers out to the skunk. The next morning the skunk threw them back.


Extra Credit:

What do you do with an elephant with three balls? You walk him and pitch to the zebra.

[phrog]

The fellow who lives across the street from me told me that his wife's cooking is so bad that the local fire dept has asked him to give them a head's up any time she plans to cook.

Her church was going to have a bake sale to raise money and the organizers asked her to please make a cash donation.

[MilDoc]

And your wife filed for divorce after how many years? i assume she did that rather then kill you.....

[Uncle Cracker]

My wife is such a good cook that our disposer threw up and our dog went vegetarian. Her meatloaf glows in the dark. I tell her not to gut the fish I bring home, because I want at least part of the dish to be appetizing. Our kids bring us breakfast in bed every morning, just to save themselves. I would have starved to death, but my MIL sneaks me food.

[BobSch]

I would have starved to death, but my MIL sneaks me food.

So you're saying cooking skills skip a generation?

[Uncle Cracker]

So you're saying cooking skills skip a generation?

In this case, absolutely. I think MIL feeds me out of guilt...

[cabinetman]

My ex #2 was surprised to find out that some meals need heat.
.

[crokett]

The running joke with my wife is that when I grill I cook most of the entree' for normal people, then leave some on the grill and make hockey pucks for her. She is afraid of food poisoning, etc so overcooks everything.

[scmhogg]

My ex-wife used to get frostbite when she cooked. My young kids were shocked when my mother told them that french fries came from potatoes.

Steve

[Pappy]

A good friend of ours used take a lot of ribbing over her cooking. The whole neighborhood knew when they were ready to sit down to dinner....Right after the smoke alarm went off!

[Santa Clarita Len]

My neighbor says his wife cooked some beans backwoods and everyone got hiccups.

[RAFlorida]

My exwife, for our first Thanksgiving dinner,

went to the grocery store to buy a turkey and other stuff. She came back with duck! She said she didn't know the difference between duck and turkey and thought it was just a different gene of turkey! She cooked it anyway and by golly, it was good!