Some Jokes

[crokett]

Got these from the Sunday comics but thought they were pretty good.

A guy goes on vacation to the south of France. It is the first vacation he has been on in a long time, and even though he gets to the hotel very late, he wakes up early and heads down the beach. He falls asleep on the beach. When he wakes up he sees a man nearby who is asleep, but naked. The guy is a little embarassed. He looks around and even though nobody seems to notice, he decides to cover the man up. He sees a book lying next to the man, so he opens it up and places it over certain parts. The man wakes up. It turns out he is a judge and he has the guy arrested.

The moral? Never cover a judge by his book.


There is an engaged couple who go out to a karaoke restaurant for dinner. There is a singer there who sings a Sinatra song. They think he is quite good. They get to talking to him and find out he is in the process of releasing a tribute album and he happens to be a justice of the peace. They ask if he will sing at their wedding and perform the ceremony. He agrees, but on the big day his singing is awful and butchers the ceremony.

The moral? Never book a judge by his cover.

[charliex]

Oh goody I get to go first

GROAN!!!!!!!!

[cabinetman]

Oh goody I get to go first

GROAN!!!!!!!!

Are we supposed to rate these?
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[scmhogg]

Now I miss Dud more than ever.

Steve

[germdoc]

Now I miss Dud more than ever.

Steve

I think those jokes were duds...

[Pappy]

Come back Bill, PLEASE!

[TB Roye]

Crockett go to your shop and stay until we say you can come out.

Please hurry back Bill the amateurs will kill us.




Tom

[RayintheUK]

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey, I have been asked to fly to Canada with my boss and several of his friends for fishing.. We'll be gone for a long weekend. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a 3 day weekend".....

And also would you get out my rod and tackle box from the attic? We're leaving at 4:30 pm from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up..

'Oh! And please pack my new navy blue silk pyjamas..'

The wife thinks this sounds a bit odd, but, being the good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked. Following the long weekend he came home a little tired, but, otherwise, looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?

He says, 'Yes! Lots of Walleyes, some Bass, and a few Pike. He said but why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?

The wife replies, "I did, they're in your tackle box".

Never, never, never try to outsmart a woman!

Ray

[cabinetman]

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey, I have been asked to fly to Canada with my boss and several of his friends for fishing.. We'll be gone for a long weekend. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a 3 day weekend".....

And also would you get out my rod and tackle box from the attic? We're leaving at 4:30 pm from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up..

'Oh! And please pack my new navy blue silk pyjamas..'

The wife thinks this sounds a bit odd, but, being the good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked. Following the long weekend he came home a little tired, but, otherwise, looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?

He says, 'Yes! Lots of Walleyes, some Bass, and a few Pike. He said but why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?

The wife replies, "I did, they're in your tackle box".

Never, never, never try to outsmart a woman!

Ray

Oooooh...now that's a good one!!!
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