yep, I'm getting tattooed

[just started]

Economic Stimulus Check



Just in case you get a check.... Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment.

This is a very exciting program. I'll explain it using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia? A. Shut up or you don't get your check. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

• If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China ...
• If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia ...
• If you purchase a computer, it will go to India ...
• If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ...
• If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea ...
• If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan ...
• If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.

Instead, you can keep the money in America by :

• Spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or
• Going to baseball or football games, or
• Hiring prostitutes, or
• Buying cheap beer or
• Getting tattoos. These are the only wholly-American-owned businesses still operating in the US.

Conclusion: The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed.

[natausch]

Remember if we don't keep feeding that beast we have created in Asia it will come to destroy us.

Please, think of me and all the other people who appreciate being alive when you decide to withhold the feed that makes us weaker and them stronger.

[crokett]

This thread was meant in jest. Please keep the responses the same way.

[charliex]

We (Americans) brew some excellent beers, so you don't have to drink the cheap stuff.

[tseavoy]

Seconds on the beer. This country brews the best. Probably also the best wine and food. Where else can you select from:
Home cooking
Southern cooking
Texas barbeque
Mexican
Fast food
French
Italian
Jewish
Greek
German
Iranian -- yes I have had food at an Iranian restaurant and it's good
Japanese
Chinese
Thai
Steak and chop houses
Seafood
Ethiopian -- yes there is one in Seattle

and the list goes on. I don't recall any English food restaurants around here.

Tom on Marrowstone

[leehljp]

Seconds on the beer. This country brews the best. Probably also the best wine and food. Where else can you select from:
Home cooking
Southern cooking
Texas barbeque
Mexican
Fast food
French
Italian
Jewish
Greek
German
Iranian -- yes I have had food at an Iranian restaurant and it's good
Japanese
Chinese
Thai
Steak and chop houses
Seafood
Ethiopian -- yes there is one in Seattle

and the list goes on. I don't recall any English food restaurants around here.

Tom on Marrowstone

You left off Genuine CAJUN!

[Bruce Cohen]

This thread was meant in jest. Please keep the responses the same way.

Yo Dave,

Ya gotta lighten up, being so serious is bad for your heart, not to mention your Karma.

Bruce

and please don't erase this one, like you did the other.

[dkerfoot]

Of course, you could also buy a KeyLlama 4MB USB Value keylogger - manufactured right here in Holland, Michigan.


.

[tseavoy]

Yep, Cajun too. I remember ? Wilson cooking Cajun on TV. " I guarantee..."

Another area where this country is supreme is music.

Classical -- Leonard Bernstein, Boston Pops, Cleveland Symphony,
Appalachian, country, western, gospel, do-wop, big band, swing, polka, folk, 50s and 60s R&R, ballads, Motown, Rogers & Hart/Hammerstein, Benny Goodman, Duke Ellington, Satchmo, Glen Miller, The Dorsey brothers, I'm sure you all can fill in a lot more.

Movie production. Too long a list. The British are also good at it.

Being an engineer, what saddens me is the loss in manufacturing capability in the US. I worked for a major aerospace company in Seattle and 20 years ago it would have been unthinkable to be eclipsed by a foreign company in that area.

Tom on Marrowstone


POLITICS, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
Ambrose Bierce

[jackellis]

Being an engineer, what saddens me is the loss in manufacturing capability in the US. I worked for a major aerospace company in Seattle and 20 years ago it would have been unthinkable to be eclipsed by a foreign company in that area.

I believe the US is still the world's biggest manufacturer. Even if it doesn't seem that way sometimes.

I have no kids but I do have 10 nieces and nephews. None of them is an engineer or a scientist. Two are dentists.

Sigh!

Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be investment bankers or lawyers . Make 'em learn math and science instead.

[crokett]

Yo Dave,

Ya gotta lighten up, being so serious is bad for your heart, not to mention your Karma.

Bruce

and please don't erase this one, like you did the other.

My post was in response to Natausch. I'm not telling you not to post here, I'm saying the intent of this thread is jest, so keep it that way. Then I don't have to poof it. Believe it or not, I don't like locking or deleting threads.

[cabinetman]

Conclusion: The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed.

I've been to yard sales like that.
.