Classes For Men

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  • cabinetman
    Gone but not Forgotten RIP
    • Jun 2006
    • 15216
    • So. Florida
    • Delta
    #1

    Classes For Men

    Classes for Men at
    THE
    ADULT LEARNING CENTRE
    REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
    by Tuesday, June 23rd 2009
    NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
    OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

    Class 1
    How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

    Class 2
    The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
    Round Table Discussion.
    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

    Class 3
    Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 4
    Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

    Class 5
    Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
    Examples on Video.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
    at 7:00 PM

    Class 6
    Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
    Help Line Support and Support Groups.
    Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

    Class 7
    Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
    Open Forum
    Monday at 8:00 PM , 2 hours.

    Class 8
    Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
    Graphics and Audio Tapes.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 9
    Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

    Class 10
    Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
    Driving Simulations.
    4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

    Class 11
    Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
    Online Classes and role-playing
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM , location to be determined

    Class 12
    How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
    Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

    Class 13
    How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
    Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 14
    The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
    Live Demonstration.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM , location to be determined.
    Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
    .
    Tags: None
    • crokett
      The Full Monte
      • Jan 2003
      • 10627
      • Mebane, NC, USA.
      • Ryobi BT3000
      #2
      Class 1
      How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

      That's why I have an automatic ice maker.

      Class 2
      The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?

      It must because there is always toilet paper on it.

      Class 3
      Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.

      Just g outside.

      Class 4
      Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--

      The floor works perfectly. Why do you need a hamper?

      Class 5
      Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?

      Don't you eat out of the pot like me?

      Class 6
      Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.

      I have two remotes. Hers doesn't work.

      Class 7
      Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.

      Why change what works? Stuff I want found is found.

      Class 8
      Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.

      No but when I do she wonders what I am apolgizing for, so why bring her flowers?

      Class 9
      Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.

      Real men don't get lost.

      Class 10
      Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?

      No. This is why I drive all the time.


      Class 11
      Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.

      Uhh... that is why we got married.

      Class 12
      How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion

      Easy. Don't go shopping. Pay for lunch for her and her best friedn.

      Class 13
      How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.

      Again, that is why we got married so we wouldn't have to remember.

      Class 14
      The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.

      See #s 11 and 13.


      All this stuff is really simple. You don't need classes.
      David

      The chief cause of failure in this life is giving up what you want most for what you want at the moment.

        Comment

        • jackellis
          Veteran Member
          • Nov 2003
          • 2638
          • Tahoe City, CA, USA.
          • BT3100
          #3
          I don't need the classes, but I often get a raft of s**t about having a disease known as Male Pattern Blindness.

            Comment

            • Daryl
              Senior Member
              • May 2004
              • 831
              • .
              #4
              Maybe there should be some classes for women, maybe cover such subjects as:

              Can you put the toilet seat down with out yelling?
              Sometimes the old man passed out and left the am radio on so I got to hear the oldie songs and current event kind of things

                Comment

                • herb fellows
                  Veteran Member
                  • Apr 2007
                  • 1867
                  • New York City
                  • bt3100
                  #5
                  Sorry to say, re: #10, no, it is not possible to refrain from commenting when a woman tries to parallel park.
                  I mean, really, there is a genetic difference here, must be.
                  You don't need a parachute to skydive, you only need a parachute to skydive twice.

                    Comment

                    • gsmittle
                      Veteran Member
                      • Aug 2004
                      • 2793
                      • St. Louis, MO, USA.
                      • BT 3100
                      #6
                      Originally posted by herb fellows
                      Sorry to say, re: #10, no, it is not possible to refrain from commenting when a woman tries to parallel park.
                      I mean, really, there is a genetic difference here, must be.
                      There's gotta be a genetic component to #9, too.

                      g.
                      Last edited by gsmittle; 07-09-2009, 08:49 PM. Reason: fiksed the spelin.
                      Smit

                      "Be excellent to each other."
                      Bill & Ted

                        Comment

                        • leehljp
                          The Full Monte
                          • Dec 2002
                          • 8793
                          • Tunica, MS
                          • BT3000/3100
                          #7
                          That was good!
                          Hank Lee

                          Experience is what you get when you don't get what you wanted!

                            Comment

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