Church Bulletins

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  • MilDoc

    #1

    Church Bulletins

    The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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    The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

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    Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

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    Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'H***[_]' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

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    Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

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    Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

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    For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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    Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

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    Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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    A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

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    At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is ****?'
    Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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    Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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    Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
    Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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    Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

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    The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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    Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

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    The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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    This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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    Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

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    The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

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    Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

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    The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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    Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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    The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'
  • BobSch
    Veteran Member
    • Aug 2004
    • 4385
    • Minneapolis, MN, USA.
    • BT3100

    #2
    Thanks, Paul, I needed that!
    Bob

    Bad decisions make good stories.

    Comment

    • Ed62
      The Full Monte
      • Oct 2006
      • 6021
      • NW Indiana
      • BT3K

      #3
      It's amazing what an improperly chosen word can do.

      Ed
      Do you know about kickback? Ray has a good writeup here... https://www.sawdustzone.org/articles...mare-explained

      For a kickback demonstration video http://www.metacafe.com/watch/910584...demonstration/

      Comment

      • cabinetman
        Gone but not Forgotten RIP
        • Jun 2006
        • 15216
        • So. Florida
        • Delta

        #4
        That church needs a proof reader.
        .

        Comment

        • TB Roye
          Veteran Member
          • Jan 2004
          • 2969
          • Sacramento, CA, USA.
          • BT3100

          #5
          Will forward it to my pastor

          Tom

          Comment

          • MilDoc

            #6
            And I keep wondering if anyone at all ever reads what they write!!!

            Comment

            • cabinetman
              Gone but not Forgotten RIP
              • Jun 2006
              • 15216
              • So. Florida
              • Delta

              #7
              Originally posted by MilDoc
              And I keep wondering if anyone at all ever reads what they write!!!

              That can apply to forums too.
              .

              Comment

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