dog vs cat

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  • just started
    Senior Member
    • Mar 2008
    • 642
    • suburban Philly

    #1

    dog vs cat

    DOG DIARY

    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 PM - Ran back and forth in the hall! My favorite thing!
    5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
    7:00 PM - Got to play tug! My favorite thing!
    8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


    CAT DIARY

    Day 983 of my captivity.

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I am fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

    In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
    feet.

    I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
    demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
    condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
    *******s!

    They continue to pick me up and handle me, an obvious attempt to
    subvert me.

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
    placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.



    However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

    The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and
    seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

    Tonight I will again lay on their heads while they sleep and hope to
    smother them.
  • Ed62
    The Full Monte
    • Oct 2006
    • 6021
    • NW Indiana
    • BT3K

    #2
    That sums it up nicely.

    Ed
    Do you know about kickback? Ray has a good writeup here... https://www.sawdustzone.org/articles...mare-explained

    For a kickback demonstration video http://www.metacafe.com/watch/910584...demonstration/

    Comment

    • jackellis
      Veteran Member
      • Nov 2003
      • 2638
      • Tahoe City, CA, USA.
      • BT3100

      #3
      We have two cats. Neither one meets the stereotype.

      One was feral and is actually very happy to be held captive so long as she has a warm bed and two square meals a day. We can't leave food out for her because she tends to eat everything in sight.

      The other has a surfer dude's attitude. Life's a game for him and he's also happy to be held captive so long as we pay attention to him once in a while.

      Sign on a wall somewhere in our house: "Dogs have owners. Cats have staff."

      Comment

      • gerti
        Veteran Member
        • Dec 2003
        • 2233
        • Minnetonka, MN, USA.
        • BT3100 "Frankensaw"

        #4
        Or last cat (Jack passed last summer after an apparent poisoning) was a hoot. Her favorite was to get drugged in the doctors office... Back home, coming down from it, she would spend HOURS looking at a spot on the rug or wall! My wife called her a 60's love child.

        Comment

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