Economic Simplification

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  • BobSch
    Veteran Member
    • Aug 2004
    • 4385
    • Minneapolis, MN, USA.
    • BT3100

    #1

    Economic Simplification

    THE FINANCIAL CRISIS EXPLAINED IN SIMPLE TERMS:

    · Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin.

    · In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later.

    · She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

    · Word gets around, and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood Into Heidi's bar.

    · Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages.

    Her sales volume increases massively.

    · A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.

    · He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

    · At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS.

    · These securities are then traded on markets worldwide.

    · No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed.

    · Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

    · One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently, of course, fired due to his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.

    · However they cannot pay back the debts.

    · Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy. DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95%.

    · PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80%.

    · The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation.

    · Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.

    · The bank is saved by the government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.

    · The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.


    · Finally, an explanation we can understand.
    Bob

    Bad decisions make good stories.
  • bfrikken
    Senior Member
    • Apr 2005
    • 727
    • Michigan, USA.
    • BT-3100

    #2
    wait... so the beer supplier was taken over? That means we can still get beer, just not wine?

    ok by me.

    Comment

    • cgallery
      Veteran Member
      • Sep 2004
      • 4503
      • Milwaukee, WI
      • BT3K

      #3
      So the banks should foreclose and insist on the return of the beer and wine that were consumed, so that they may be sold again.

      Comment

      • jhart
        Veteran Member
        • Feb 2004
        • 1715
        • Minneapolis, MN, USA.
        • BT3100

        #4
        That's about as good an explaination as I've seen!!! P.T. Barnum talked about 1 being born every minute, but I think a whole lot of them were born together
        Joe
        "All things are difficult before they are easy"

        Comment

        • jackellis
          Veteran Member
          • Nov 2003
          • 2638
          • Tahoe City, CA, USA.
          • BT3100

          #5
          Yes, but then to unfreeze the credit markets, the government started insisting that the bank make new loans with the bailout money they were given.

          I'd like to hang S...oops! Can't go there.

          Comment

          • Uncle Cracker
            The Full Monte
            • May 2007
            • 7091
            • Sunshine State
            • BT3000

            #6
            That is a good explanation.

            I heard another one that was interesting... Imagine sending your neighborhood drunk off to Vegas with the promise that he could keep all his winnings, and you would cover his losses. That is what has happened to the taxpayers of this country.

            Comment

            • Shep
              Senior Member
              • Nov 2008
              • 710
              • Columbus, OH
              • Hitachi C10FL

              #7
              Also, the government comes in and reduces the drinker's loan rate at the bar so they can continue to drink at an affordable price.
              -Justin


              shepardwoodworking.webs.com


              ...you can thank me later.

              Comment

              • mschrank
                Veteran Member
                • Oct 2004
                • 1130
                • Hood River, OR, USA.
                • BT3000

                #8
                Those of you familiar with This American Life on NPR may have heard the episode "Bad Bank" a couple weeks back. If you haven't heard, they describe the banking crisis in terms almost as simple as Bob's story. I highly recommend listening to it. Those of you who don't think the taxpayers should be the ones left on the hook might be surprised (and equally dismayed) at the alternative...

                You can listen on your PC here, and I think you can still download the podcast from iTunes.
                Mike

                Drywall screws are not wood screws

                Comment

                • BobSch
                  Veteran Member
                  • Aug 2004
                  • 4385
                  • Minneapolis, MN, USA.
                  • BT3100

                  #9
                  Originally posted by cgallery
                  So the banks should foreclose and insist on the return of the beer and wine that were consumed, so that they may be sold again.
                  So we're supposed to pzzz on the bankers? I can live with that.
                  Bob

                  Bad decisions make good stories.

                  Comment

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