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Apologies if this has been posted before, but I couldn't find it, if it has.
A wife came home early and found her husband in their bed with a very attractive young woman. "You disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce!"
The husband replied "Hang on just a minute, so at least I can tell you what happened."
"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
And the husband began: "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me she hadn't eaten in three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night - the ones you wouldn't eat because you were afraid you'd put on weight.
The poor thing devoured them in minutes. Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has the same pair."
He took a quick breath and continued, "She was so grateful for my understanding and help, as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please . . . Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'"
Ray
A wife came home early and found her husband in their bed with a very attractive young woman. "You disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce!"
The husband replied "Hang on just a minute, so at least I can tell you what happened."
"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
And the husband began: "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me she hadn't eaten in three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night - the ones you wouldn't eat because you were afraid you'd put on weight.
The poor thing devoured them in minutes. Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has the same pair."
He took a quick breath and continued, "She was so grateful for my understanding and help, as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please . . . Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'"
Ray
Good one, Ray.
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